In an effort to share my writing and get feedback I wanted to share some scenes from my screenplay entitled “Memory of Shane.” The following is from two scenes at the start of Act 2 because it shows two specific things in the screenplay. First, the back and forth between the present when Adriana arrives in California to find Shane in a coma, and the past when Shane is first diagnosed. I wrote my screenplay on Final Draft so I kept the format. If you want to know more about the history of this piece you can find it on my blog
EXT. HOSPITAL – CALIFORNIA – AFTERNOON
Adriana stands outside the entrance of a small hospital as PEOPLE walk past her. She has a large coffee in her hand. For a moment, she hesitates just outside the door and then proceeds inside.
SUBTITLE FADES IN: PRESENT
INT. HOSPITAL – SAME DAY
Adriana walks up to a counter and sets her coffee cup down. A young RECEPTIONIST sits behind a desk, her eyes locked on her cell phone, a moment passes before she looks up.
Hi. How can I help you today?
I’m here to see Shane Camp.
One moment, please.
The receptionist with her finger finds Shane’s name.
Shane is in room 211. The intensive care unit. You will need this.
The receptionist hands Adriana a guess pass sticker. She puts the sticker on her shirt.
Visiting hours are until seven today.
Adriana turns and walks down a long hallway to an elevator at the end and presses the button to go up.
INT. HOSPITAL ELEVATOR – SAME DAY
Adriana firmly presses the number two on the elevator panel and the elevator hums to life moving up.
INT. HOSPITAL INTENSIVE CARE UNIT – SAME DAY
On the intensive care unit, Adriana casually glances at the numbers on the room doors until she finds room 211 and goes in.
INT. SHANE’S HOSPITAL ROOM – SAME DAY
Adriana stands motionless in the entrance of Shane’s hospital room with her hand on the door. Her eyes survey’s the room as Shane lays lifeless in a hospital bed with tubes and wires coming from his body. She stops after seeing this. Fighting back tears she starts to retreat backward running into a nurse who keeps the door from hitting Adriana.
I’m sorry dear, are you okay?
I’m… I’m fine. How is he?
Are you family?
I can’t give you that information but you can go in if you like.
Adriana grabs the door with a shaky hand and enters the room sitting in a chair next to Shane. She puts her a cup of coffee on a small table next to Shane’s bed. She then puts her hand in Shane’s.
I never thought in a million years I’d be in a hospital with you again Shane.
INT. HOSPITAL PSYCHIATRIC WARD – SEATTLE – DAY
Shane sits at a round table with chairs encircled around him. His quick glances around the room keep him from making eye contact with the other PATIENTS and VISITORS around him in various stages of activity. His face is a pale white. His eyes lock on an OLDER MAN at the next table quietly in conversation with himself. He is in a T-shirt, hospital pants, and hospital socks. A nurse comes into view breaking his nervous glancing.
SUBTITLE FADES IN: SEVEN YEARS EARLIER
Shane, you have a visitor this morning. Are you up for it?
Sure. I guess. Who is it?
It’s your girlfriend.
Shane rubs his right hand over his heavily bandaged left wrist.
Send her in.
The nurse makes her way to a locked door that opens to a small lobby. The nurse faintly calls a name, after a moment Adriana comes into view carrying two coffee cups. Shane looks down at his feet as she makes her way to the table and sits down.
Hi Shane. I wasn’t sure if they would let me but I brought you some coffee.
Adriana slides the cup across the table.
Thanks. The coffee in here sucks, with everything else.
Shane takes the coffee cup taking a long a drink. Adriana’s eyes move from Shane’s face to his bandaged wrists and then quickly back.
Shouldn’t you be in New York?
I came as soon as Mark could get me on the phone. What happened?
Shane again looks down at his feet.
I let the darkness take over. My thoughts consumed me. I couldn’t stop them. It became too much.
I didn’t know you were getting worse. I shouldn’t have left…
This isn’t your fault Adri. I should’ve never gotten involved with you. I let my emotions get the better of me–
Adriana reaches out and grabs Shane by the hand.
–Shane. I’m not going anywhere.
Shane slowly pulls his hand out of Adriana’s.
If you were smart, you’d walk away. I’m damaged goods Adri. I can’t be helped.
After a moment of silence, Shane rises quickly to his feet pushing the chair back and walks away. Adriana has a look of exasperation, with defeat she begins to weep.
Photo Credit: Trent Erwin