This week something that I thought was dead and buried came up this week and it came close to me taking many steps back in the wrong direction that could have derailed everything I am working on. I have been so open over the last few months and there has been really little of my part that I haven’t written about, but there is one specific thing I have talked about since 2007.
I wish I could share it with you now. It is one of those things that I have always left unsaid. In fact, the only people that I have ever shared this piece of my past with was my first psychiatrist, my parents, and now one of my closest friends yesterday. I knew I could trust her, and that she was the only one that could talk me off the ledge so to speak.
I never name my close friends and families in this blog because they may not be so comfortable being on here by name.
What I have written about my past in this blog and in my memoir goes back to when I was a child, but there are years before that I still can’t talk about at least not where I am at right now. I have always prided myself on my blog for being open about my diagnosis, the issues and for the most part my past.
Sometimes, things are just better left unsaid.
I hope I will be able to talk about in the future. I may write a chapter in my memoir about and when the first draft of The Bipolar Writer is completed it will serve me to make the decision right then to add the chapter in the final draft.
I decided to write this small post to let my many followers know that I have always been 100% truthful in sharing my life with you. I will continue to work towards finding the strength to share the worst parts of me that I often went in my most depressed episode because of my past. I am still dealing with those memories that lurk at the darkest depths that have changed my entire existence. There are just a few things that I don’t feel comfortable sharing right at this moment.
I am doing okay today. My friend helped me work through the worst of it. It will be a few days until I am back on total track with all of my writing and school work. With finals this week and next I will be busy so that will help.
I think at my next appointment I will open up to my therapist about the past. It might be good for me to deal with my past in therapy first before I write in my memoir.
I wanted to end this blog with a thank you. For every like and comment that I have received over the last, not over three months. It keeps me going, and keeps me writing.
Always Keep Fighting
Photo Credit: unsplash-logoPeter Oswald
Please Help me Publish my Memoir
I am almost done editing my memoir “The Bipolar Writer,” and I have decided to go down the self-publishing route. If you can donate anything towards my goal, it would mean the world to me. I am still working towards enough to pay an artist for a good cover. Those that donate will get a special mention in my memoir on a page dedicated to those that made my memoir possible. Thank you in advance!