I just really loved the picture and I couldn’t find a good curveball picture.
There are days when you wake up and realize everything bad that can happen will most likely happen.
That happened to me yesterday.
That is true for all people, but for someone with a mental illness, it can spell real trouble. That’s how I feel today.
I started my day by waking up at six in the morning and not getting out of bed until 9:30am. I just laid there, as life started to tell me, “not today James.”
I hate those days.
When I finally found the will to get out of bed it was like nothing could go right. Water was too cold to start my shower. Then I couldn’t focus half the time and more than once got lost in a daydream.
I finally got dressed to start my day, my plans were a coffee shop visit, a few hours of studying, and a much needed Costco visit.
It just wasn’t my day.
My car wouldn’t start. Figures. It failed this morning because I was forgetful last Friday and left my key in my car in the start position. I failed to drive my car after yesterday morning and over the weekend so my battery never had a chance to charge. What can I say I have been really busy when I left my keys in the car.
I couldn’t get someone to jump start my car so I ended being stranded. So much for the best-laid plans. At times life just wants to throw a curveball at you, you can try and hit it out of the park or just let it hit the catchers glove.
So I chose to restructure my day. Wrote a blog. Wrote a discussion post for my classes and did some writing. I finished my edits and put in my application for the screenplay competition. I thought, okay today started out bad but hey but in baseball, there is always another at-bat.
So there I was ready to hit that curveball again and things just fell apart. Things were said and I am sitting here in a really bad mood trying my best to write every bad feeling out of my head.
It times like these where I just need to realize that it’s not my day. It was never fated that I would have a great day. Life is funny like that at times.
So I made the decision to just let go. Play some much-needed gaming time on Shadow of War. Maybe spend some money on something I want.
I really should have just walked away and not say anything. Listened to my inner voice to just let it go. I really should have stayed in bed yesterday. It would have served me so much better. I get lost in all the messiness of my life, and it always seems when things are going good in my life, something bad comes up. I took a big risk and it’s hard to know where to go from here.
Good thing there is today. I am not letting what happened yesterday to makes it way into my life today. Or at least I will try my best to. I really want so bad to just give up today and save it for another day.
I just need to get through a few more hours of real writing done and hopefully complete some school work. It might be better to just take the day off, but if I let this one thing, the one thing I swore ten years ago to never let back in my life…
And yet, its a part of me again and that can’t be good.
Life is funny. It will throw you a curveball when you least expect it. And yesterday life was throwing it for strikes.
Three strikes and your out.
Life is funny.
Always keep fighting.