It has been a tough week and my first real test of 2018. I have been so laser-focused on all that takes up my time during a week that I let myself get sick. What makes it worse is it means I am feeling like crap while trying to continue to work during my week. Today was the first time in a while where I slept in and stayed in bed until the afternoon. The last time that happened was during Christmas, and I wasn’t sick then I was depressed.
I was thinking of letting the entire day go by and stay in bed binge watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S. which is always good. The beauty of technology is that I can write in bed and still be productive. I haven’t written a piece when I am this sick. It’s kind of uncanny because at this time last year I was in the hospital with bad stomach ulcers and bronchitis. In retrospect, I am not in such a bad place. I am not depressed about being sick even though I stayed in bed it didn’t bother to be as much as it usually does.
I never dealt with being sick in a good way. It usually is a prelude to me feeling so depressed that I all I can do is lay in bed hating being sick. I would lay there feeling more depressed while coughing my brains out. It feels much different this year, and I am not sure exactly why. It could be the place I am in right now. I have never felt so great while I am sick. This place I have found in my writing means my life, in general, is, well, amazing.
It makes me smile that I even after everything I have done with The Bipolar Writer blog I still wake up happy. I am excited each day to share something new on my blog. I still get excited when I see people follow and comment my blog. I wish some days I could sit in front of my computer and connect with every single blogger that follows me. That would be an amazing thing, to be honest.
When I started The Bipolar blog back in September I had no real expectations of where my blog would go. I had dreams no doubt, but I had tried this blogging thing before with very little success. It felt different than the other two times I had attempted a blog. I have to admit 2017 wasn’t my best year, but it was the best year since my diagnosis. I look at where I am going and it amazes me I have been able to stay focused each day.
I never start great in a new year, but I look at the fact that it’s February 1st, of 2018, and I have never felt so alive. I don’t mind being sick because it means I can slow down a bit. I am ahead of my homework this week and I can take a break from my freelance work for one day. I gave myself a break today, even writing this post.
I am truly blessed to be alive in 2018. I can remember times over the past ten years where I didn’t believe I would live past the day I was living in, let alone be in 2018. But, I even amaze myself sometimes. Today I proved something to myself. Being sick is a part of life, it means you have to slow down. So, that’s what I will do for the rest of day. Relax and rest. Get better, because I have great things ahead of me.
It has been an amazing journey with every one of my fellow bloggers in the mental illness community. It’s already February. Let’s make it an amazing month.
Always Keep Fighting.
Photo Credit: unsplash-logoMatheus Vinicius