This week has been a long week for me. I’ve really been in a lot of pain due to constant weather changes. I’m getting migraines from the same. It was just Valentine’s Day which is a holiday I don’t understand. It only promotes hurt as far as I can tell.
Shouldn’t we be showing our family, friends, children and significant others every day how we love them? Valentine’s Day just sets you up to get hurt. You get your hopes up for that special someone to notice you or remember you and when it doesn’t happen….day is ruined, you hurt and feel forgotten or left out. I’ve never cared for this holiday. This year was no different. Set myself up, and………nothing. Not a word, not a peep, not a thing.
Then, later in the week my youngest son, only 17, signed up and got sworn into the United States Marine Corps. He leaves either April or May. When did my baby grow up? To hear your child say the words “I swear to protect my country from all enemies, foreign and domestic…” (rephrased) that’s pretty hard to hear as a mom. My older two also went into the Marine Corps. While I couldn’t be more proud of them, it’s tough being a Marine mom. Very tough.
This has been a week of being surrounded by stress. Seems like everywhere I turn, there is something new. I need a break. I want to stop hurting so much. I want to have a day where I am happy and not just getting along ok. It’s been a very emotional and lonely and painful week. Forecast for today is not looking any different.
I’m tired of being strong. I want to be weak just for a while and have someone else take care of me for a bit. I wish for that so much, but I know that every day when I wake up I will be fighting my battles without a partner. I will have to be strong even though I can barely function. You show any sign of weakness and the demons come for you, preying on your mind and emotions.
Every day is a mental battle of wills. Be strong, be strong, be strong. Keep the demons at bay. Don’t let them win.
I’m so tired.