My Song When I was Suicidal

Over the years there has been one song that has brought me back from the edge. Its Nineteen Stars by Meg and Dia. The lyrics speak for themselves and will post them below. It’s an amazing song (There are two versions of this song so lyrics posted might slightly different.

Nineteen Stars (Song and Lyrics by Meg and Dia)

Don’t tell me.
You’re done for.
I don’t need to hear.
You’re done for.
You can tell me what you are running from.
I need you.
More than you need you.
I can see you’re really really running.
May I ask you where you gonna run to?
And you think you’re really, really funny.
Well I don’t think you’re funny, as you do.
We all feel like we’re breaking sometime.
I won’t let you go tonight.[Chorus:]
Stay awake.
Stay awake survive.
I’ve got nineteen stars that I.
Gave your name.
I wanna scream.
Wanna scream your name.
Star light, star bright, can save.
You’re my wish tonight.Don’t tell me, it doesn’t matter
I’ll tell you.
What matters.
Bare feet in the summer.
Open windows at night.
You think that no one needs you.
You have nothing to see through.
Well I need you.
Don’t I count?
Lets fight.
Show me anger.
Fierce fists clutching onto air
Show me anything
Just show me you care
Stay awake.
Stay awake survive.
I’ve got nineteen stars that I.
Gave your name.
I wanna scream.
Wanna scream your name.
Star light, star bright, can save.
You’re my wish tonight.

No one can catch me.
The way that you catch me.
The way that you keep me when I’m out of time.
What if I need you?
When I can’t see you?
And I’m running out of life.


Stay awake, stay awake, survive
I’ve got nineteen stars that I
Stay awake, stay awake, survive
Stay awake, stay awake, survive

I wanna scream
Wanna scream your name
Starlight, my life can save
You’re my wish, oh, you’re my wish and I’m sad
You’re my wish tonight

Photo Credit:

unsplash-logoCorey Blaz


7 Replies to “My Song When I was Suicidal”

  1. I just wrote about something that seems to have an echo of this post in it. In case you were wondering, I’m still here for you.

  2. I like how you do the weekly wrap-up… hope it’s ok if I borrow your idea. I saw something like it on another site but I didn’t get the inspiration you gave me here. Thanks for that. And for this song.

  3. Hello James. I have recently viewed some of your posts. I am so so sorry to hear that you are battling mental health issues and even suicidal thoughts. I can understand the anxiety and issues that these must bring for you. If I may ask, do you believe in God? God is our creator and he wants us to be happy and live a fulfilled life. God wants us to be happy and he is an ever present help in times of need. If you can keep an open mind, here is something that you should try: find a quiet space free from distractions, imagine that Jesus is in front of you, talk to him the way you will with a close friend, tell him how you feel. Beware of sudden distractions when you pray, this is a trick the devil uses to stop us from having focused prayers. You might also get the feeling that God is not there or that you are simply wasting your time, this is another trick that the devil uses to discourage us from prayers. Be focused and tell the lord how you feel. Jesus is there with you and he cares for you, so invite him into your life and ask him to pour out his blessings. When you get the answers to your prayers, do not forget to thank God. Also try to maintain a relationship with him, keep telling him how you feel, keep thanking him and finding out about him. This way he can remain in your life and continue to work his miracles.

    Do not ever forget that you are important to God. You are so important that he sent his beloved son to die in our place so that we can have a chance at salvation. No matter what you are going through, Jesus can provide you with victory. Please do give God a try. Good luck and God bless you.

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