The Cure for Depression: Connect with People

So, I hear you may be looking at tips for curing Depression. If not, stick around anyway and make a friend. Most of us like chocolate.

Which leads us right into our first tip: Connect with a human.

I don’t know about the rest of the crowd, but the last thing I want to do when I’m down in my cozy pit is seek out other people. They are often the reason I crawled into my closet in the first place. They should seek me out, preferably with a bribe.

Unfortunately, people are rather self-centered. Usually, a person is most concerned with his own thoughts and feelings because that is who he is literally inside of. So, your dummy friends and family need at least a little tiny clue that you could use a helping hand. And a bribe.

Another failing of mine is a tendency to look at the great big huge picture of a problem and find (somehow) that I cannot even take one step toward progress. This is even worse when I am inside my depressive mind, trapped in a swirling vortex of apathy and negative self-talk.

What do we do? I will beat this tip over your head about 11 times: Start with small.

I happen to know that you can still get cell phone reception inside your mind/mud pit/closet/bathroom. The way to start small is by:

  1. Texting a friend
  2. Reading and commenting on friendly mental illness blog posts. Most of us are nice here, and know what you go through.
  3. Talking to your friend, partner, spouse, or roommate from behind the door.

I am also a big fan of pets as comforters. Go ahead and hide from the world for some recharge time, but bring your cat or dog or chinchilla with you. You can pet them all Dr. Evil style, tell them everything that sucks about humans, then connect with a person.

As amazing as animal companions are, however, you will gain the most benefit from other humans.

Yes, I know that is a scary idea. I spent nearly my entire session arguing with my paid friend about NOT TRUSTING ANYONE because people hurt you. However, I also know that I need a few good people.

Connections with peers was found to be the #1 determinant of happiness by some dude at Pennsylvania University, even more so than sugary dessert consumption. Knowing that, give it a chance. Start small, and you’ll eventually have some peeps you can send anything from concerns to dirty jokes to.

It’s worth it. You’re worth it. I know.

Sandrachile .
Namcha ph

*Chelsea Owens is not a licensed anything, except a Class D driver in her home state, and shares all information and advice from personal experience and research.


21 Replies to “The Cure for Depression: Connect with People”

  1. I enjoyed this post a lot. Today I wanted to roll up in a ball and cry. I did cry but I got up after and decided not to dwell on this hideous hole in my chest that comes every now and then for no reason. I tried to explain this to a friend but she couldn’t understand. I came to the library to type and be a little bit productive even if I feel like I want to give up. Anyhow I enjoyed the post. Deffo keep writing.

    1. Thanks, Ana. I’m sorry your friend couldn’t understand. I love the availability of empathetic people on the internet, and hope you get someone in person with whom you can connect as well.

  2. thank you. i needed to read this today. pets are great. so are the right kinds of people. its hard to make the first move, but so worth it. xo

  3. This is the best topic on this post I’ve seen. I’m saving it so I can read again later as needed or just for entertainment. Your writer’s voice is quite nice, just the whole tone of it is great. How it’s useful and soulful but also just that little pinch of comedy. Sorry, I’m normally more articulate than this – but I just got into some vaporized weed, so.

      1. Hey hey now, it helped me get off alcohol :). With the exception of one beer at a Meetup to deal with nerves, I haven’t drank regularly since late December… so, and I work out now and lost weight. Depression didn’t magically go away but working on it and the green vapor is hopefully not permanent but even if it is it’s better than drinkin’. But your welcome! I just had to defend the weed maintenance crowd myself included.

  4. “They are often the reason I crawled into my closet in the first place.”
    Hummm….yes I know how you feel. “Hell is other people” as that character so rightly said in Huis Clos.

    I think more probably “hell is having to work with other people”. In offices!

    After many years of difficult and often puzzled thought I am convinced most of depression is genetic and until such time as modern medicine makes a few giant leaps forward we are stuck with the depressive personality, the sort of person who usually sees the glass as half empty.

    I do not like working with other people and gave up investment banking for that very reason many years ago.

    It is not that I do not like people – I do. But I would rather meet them on my own terms and for my own purposes. Not be forced to suffer their whims in a business environment.

    But yes, even though I am for all intents and purposes a “hermit” I can see that sharing experiences is beneficial and important.

    My own efforts involve singing classical choral works in a small but excellent amateur choir in London.

    Difficult when you are feeling low but the music usually lifts my mood.

    Yes, the right kind of people, the right context, the right environment.

    1. All of your points are soundly accurate. When I broach the CBT suggestion, I intend to delve more into that mindset of a “depressive personality.”
      I am glad you have found a group to connect with, particularly such a high calibre of people participating in something so worthwhile.

      Excellent music is vital to life as well!

  5. I love this. I didn’t do this enough the first time my depression took over me but I’m making a real conscious effort to do so this time. It makes such a huge difference, I couldn’t even tell you. Even though the pain is a lot deeper for me now than it was before, I’m finding myself able to move on with things a little easier because of being to keep people around me

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