Struggle with Self-Doubt

Fall and Get Back Up

When we fall, we get back up because we do not really have a choice otherwise.  This is human nature.  It isn’t as easy as it sounds though.  I can only speak on behalf of my experience and my experience is tainted with mental illness.  I believe this to be true in those who do not live with mental illness as well but I can not say for certain.

Life is difficult when we begin new adventures.  Many roles are expected to be filled which can become haunting.  Say for instance you want to author a book.  You simply can not just write the book and be done with it.  It has to be edited, published, and promoted.  Nowadays in the world of media, we must exploit ourselves to be seen or heard.  Not only our success but our failures are witnessed by thousands.  There are many contributing factors that are a part of whether we stand or we fall.

Trying to strive towards success with a mental illness has proven sketchy for myself.  Again these pitfalls may be experienced by those without mental illness but for myself, these are amplified.

Self-doubt

Self-doubt has reared it’s ugliness more than I’d like to admit.  To the point that I do not want to continue.  I can not seem to get past it.  I struggle to find the beauty in my unique style.  I want to stand alone but can not find the courage to do so.  Luckily there is a voice inside my head that will not be silenced, coaching me to rise up, to continue, to move forward despite what I am feeling.  I know in my heart that what I strive to do has a purpose, I just haven’t come across the way to implement it.  Which leads me to the next setback.

Lack of trust

This falls along the same lines as self-doubt and all that I will mention does yet it plays a separate role.  Lacking trust in one’s abilities causes great strife.  Once I make a decision, I go back and forth between whether it was the right or wrong decision.  This makes it almost impossible for me to move forward or get back up, so to speak.  In reality, there is no right or wrong way to go about things especially creative ideas but for myself, it is easier said than accepted.

Resources

There are ample amounts of resources made available.  This becomes an overwhelming factor.  As I seek guidance, I am given too many options to chose from.  This is sensory overload for me.  My decision-making skills are limited if not non-existent, making deciding a challenge.

These three examples all play off one another making it almost impossible for me to move forward with my decision to begin a creative business.  New adventures open new horizons which I am entitled too yet I am my own pitfall.  Low self-esteem and lack of confidence are what it boils down too.  These are characteristics that have prevented me from getting back up time and time again.  I am my own worst critic.

Today I would like to reach out and ask for some suggestions to get past this phase.  It is impacting my goals in a negative manner,  one that I am not comfortable with.  I once was a self-proclaimed quitter but for the last year or so I have set out to do things with an “I will not quit” attitude and I refuse to turn back now.

What are some things that you have tried that worked in helping you overcome self-doubt?  Do you now trust your abilities?

Any and all feedback is appreciated.  Thanks- Candace

Advertisements

31 Replies to “Struggle with Self-Doubt”

  1. Thank you for this post! I know for me this is one of my biggest struggles and understanding I’m not alone has helped me push through the doubt. I also received some great advice recently… don’t quit, today. Never quitting anything may seem daunting, but not quitting on your passion and yourself today makes it so much more manageable. Keep writing and know you are not alone.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thank you! I know I have some talent hidden, I just haven’t found how to access it. Quitting is no longer an option.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Keep following your gut instinct and the path of least resistance for you, and you’d be surprised at how and when that talent will show itself.

        Liked by 4 people

  2. The truth is we don’t always see the good we are…or the good we do. Each life has meaning and impacts others. Small steps..each one moving you onward. Don’t look for end results just look at today’s step. Keep writing.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. One of the best things I have learned to help me is to change the perspective. Talent doesn’t matter, learning does. You can’t improve talent or change it. You can learn skills and get better through practice. There is even science to back it up ! =)

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I am all about learning! This is the exact stage I am at, practicing. Sometimes it is frustrating and discouraging.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I am not sure where I heard it now, but the phrase “always be willing to be a beginner” resonates with me. It allows for a gentleness with yourself as you are learning. Also, in case no one has told you today, you got this. You are already doing it! =)

        Liked by 3 people

  4. Ugh, I’m not the best for self-esteem advice. But, there’s always something to be said for remembering that you are more than your diagnoses, and most people would crack under the kinds of things a lot of us mistakenly blame *ourselves* for, instead of seeing surviving as a talent.

    Liked by 4 people

  5. I don’t yet trust my abilities, but it’s something I’m working hard towards. I’m working on a lot of DBT skills that help. One of them being to step back and see the big picture. When I’m afraid of failure, I require lots of concrete evidence to keep me moving forward. Looking at the big picture means that while I’m allowed to entertain evidence supporting my self-doubt (all the reasons I think I’ll fail), I must equally consider all the evidence contradicting it. My therapist has also taught me to say some of my doubts aloud. It’s weird, but it highlights the ones that are truly irrational, and helps me shift my focus a little bit from my fears to my strengths. Finally, I do everything a little at a time. Like worrylessjourney said, small steps. I map it out, so I can prepare myself. I try hard to give myself room to make mistakes (although I’m not so good at this yet) and be mindful that reaching my goals may mean I can’t satisfy each step to get there on the first try. That makes me human not a failure.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Great post, Eve. Even in this place that I find myself, in this better place, I still struggle with self-doubt especially since finishing my degree. Posts like this really help me get through the day. Thank you for this!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Very insightful post. I think most, if not all, creative people suffer from self doubt from time to time. It’s not something that’s confined to those with mental illness, although that can come hand-in-hand with creativity. Personally, I’ve learned to conquer self doubt by forcing myself to look at the achievements I have made in my life – the fact that my kids are both well-adjusted, caring young adults I’m very proud of; and that I’m a published author of three stories. Not much I know, especially for my age,(I’m in my forties) but when I’ve spent most of my life writing then suffering crippling depression and self doubt which leads me to viciously edit my work and scrap it time after time (yes, even if I’ve written four or more chapters) it’s an accomplishment I’m proud of. As is almost completing a degree in writing, which I’ll be done with in October. Even in the midst of intense self-loathing, t can be done.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. This is an amazing post. Thank you for writing this. Sometimes I just have to force myself to stop listening to the pinwheeling of my self doubt and find something else to listen to like motivational videos or music on YouTube. Then just keep writing. We are our own worst critics. But you’re not alone feeling this way. ❤️ You’ve got this! Keep it up!

    Liked by 2 people

  9. I am so proud of YOU! I think by posting this you’ve done exactly what you set out to do. As a fellow creative human being, I know all to well the struggle to start something but not finish. Example, I’m going back to school this fall at 35 and the cherry on top is that I will only be a sophmore. Hahaha!! On the hard days when you think you cant do said thing, is when just showing up is good enough. For real. Then the next day, build on that man! Its literally one step at a time. And as cheesy as it sounds, affirmations. You gotta get them affirmations man! Haha! Keep a list of things that you have already done and keep that close to you all the time. Chant the affirmations. Redirecting those ruminating thoughts is so hard however, if you can identify that you are your own worse enemy, than YOU will discover how to silence that negative voice. It takes time. You got this. Remember to give yourself credit. YOU can do hard things.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. When it comes to trying something new, I always think the same thing – what’s the worst that can happen? Then I think – can I deal with that? If the answer is yes I carry on and don’t look back :O)

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Start with the basics, do what I did and push the reset button. I took things back to day 1 to when I was 13 years old before my life got complicated by my parents divorce. Its scary but worth it as you view everything with a new set of eyes and regain confidence in small but manageable stages. You may go through some pretty interesting places in your mind but once you see some signs its working you keep going because its new and new is exciting. I also look at a lot of websites that feed my intelligence with only positive thoughts and then I use them as platforms to grow. A very silly but real example is I would never wear flips flops in public as I was lacking in self confidence to do so, the new pair I got I now are my choice of summer shoes and I love them and feel great wearing them. I appreciate its silly thing to be questioning but I now use them flip flops as symbol of how I can break the cycle. If you need any more help feel free to get in touch, if not my friend I wish you all best and only you can change what you think.
    Have a great evening

    Liked by 2 people

  12. I have similar issues and I’m attempting to be “creative”, but self doubt is overwhelming. My process. Just do it. Whatever it is, whatever the inner critic has to say, move blindly past it. I try to ignore the pain, the anxiety, and push through. It’s not easy, but I do it knowing hat it doesn’t have to be good. No pressure. I just have to show up. My OCD perfectionism handles the quality. And, when I look backwards, I see I did it. Despite the doubt.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s