Is Anybody Out There?

2 am

Haven’t eaten today

Well, yesterday

Sleep escapes me

My energy levels are elevated

But not enough to move

As I lay here,

scrolling, I wonder

Is anybody out there?

Do they read my ploys?

Does my strength shine through?

Am I descriptive enough?

I feel so alone

At night and in the day

Are our efforts worthy?

Will we make change happen?

Or do we write selfishly?

These pangs of hunger

satisfy a sick feeling

Soul starvation

Flooded with temptation

I lay here

motionless

Thoughts race through my head

A mile a minute

Am I cycling?

Did I take my meds?

Starved for attention?

Perhaps

Seeing my psychiatrists today

Reminded me I’m not ok

I mean I am

but maybe I’m not

I can never determine

The sun will soon rise

Tomorrow is but a surprise

Will I make it through?

I must remember my meds

Forgetting messes with my head

Do I dare test my luck

Let my head run amuck

Hmmm

What next?

Should I read?

Maybe that’ll put me to sleep

Does any of this make sense?

Is anybody out there?


I will do this often, write out the immediate thoughts, to catch what it is I am thinking. As you can see it jumps rapidly. I often wonder if our efforts are being heard. Our desire to stop the stigma. Are we wasting our time? Surely we are at least causing a ripple in this massive space. Right? Exposing my vulnerability has to stand for something.

I cannot apologize for my ramblings. That would be like apologizing for being myself. But I can’t help but wonder ….

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27 Replies to “Is Anybody Out There?”

  1. I hear you. I appreciate your honesty and rawness. It’s needed. I have a need to connect. I hear you. I feel you. I thank you. πŸ’›πŸ’›πŸ’› You are not alone.

  2. I love this because I can relate and I also hate that others can relate. This is EXACTLY what my nightly routine has been lately. It is 3 AM here and reading this…I forgot my meds. Thanks lovey.

  3. This is such an honest and moving account. The fact that you are writing of it so powerfully shows that you are in charge of yourself, and that is truly inspiring πŸ™‚

  4. I hear you, from the other side of the globe and a different time-zone. I hope you’re feeling good now. πŸ™‚ Sending you positive vibes.

    – From someone who relies on meds as well to catch few hours of sleep.

  5. You are never aloneπŸ’œ All of us have been there before, thank you for writing that so honestly. Sometimes it helps to know so many people can relate. Love, Laura ❀️❀️

  6. A lot of my poetry begins this way too at like 3am – Jumbled thoughts I need to get on paper.

    I enjoyed reading your thoughts in a way that tells me I’m not alone although I’m sorry your missing out on some rest. Thank you for sharing it really hits home.

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