Are there those us destined to be alone in this mental illness life?
I was asked recently to write about mental health and loneliness, and if we can survive in a world where we are alone in the struggle with mental illness. The other part of the discussion hat was asked of me was to discuss if recovery is possible when you are alone without a support network? The questions posed by my fellow blogger is an interesting one because I have a support network and yet I am alone for the most part in my recovery. I will use my own experiences to answer these questions.
Loneliness, Mental Illness, & Recovery
I often ponder about being alone when it comes to being alone and loneliness in this mental illness life. I am an introvert. I stay within myself for strength. I guess a look back at my history with relationships might give you insight into why I feel that being alone is the best thing for someone like me. My last relationship was at the beginning.
I ended my last relationship with my ex-girlfriend in the middle of the worst depression cycle in my life. I knew nothing but that there was bad ahead of me, and how could I subject someone I loved to deal with me? It was the hardest decision that I have ever made in this life. I often regret it because she could have been the one. Now I feel that my destiny is to be alone for the rest of my life.
At the same time, I often feel that loneliness and being alone in this fight can affect my recovery. It would be great to find someone who understands this life and can handle the ups and downs that come with having a mental illness. There are nights that I lay in bed and think about how much better my anxiety would be if I can someone shared the burden of my mental illness late at night. Don’t get me wrong, I tend to revel in being an introverted loner, but at the same time, I often wonder if things could be better on the road to recovery if I had someone.
I have thought since the beginning that bringing someone into the chaos that is my mental illness daily life would be selfish. I am a go it alone type, and I have dealt with my recovery by myself. Sure, I have a support team of family members, my best friend, psychiatrists, therapists, and of course my writings here, but the truth is I tend to want to deal with my illness on my own. It can be seen as the easy route.
When I am depressed, I stay away from people and stay in bed. My biggest goal in this mental illness life is to be the least amount of burden as possible on those in my life. So I go at this recovery thing on my own. I don’t do social media other than to showcase my writings. I feel better going at this recovery thing alone, but is it the right thing?
I am not so sure anymore. If you have someone that is there for you in your recovery that’s good. In some ways, I envy that, and in others ways, I am set in my ways. I feel like opening this up to the discussion with my fellow bloggers.
Do you think it is possible to be alone in recovery or do we need to have companionship?
I hope to get as much feedback as possible because this is a topic that I am very close to, and it would be great to get the opinion of my fellow bloggers.
Always Keep Fighting