How Do You Keep Going When You Don’t Feel Important?

It’s a regular thing that happens every few weeks. One bad day turns into a bad week and everything has you thinking negatively. You question all your life choices. You wonder why you can’t find that job or that person or that purpose that makes everything perfect. Everyone you know is dealing with their own problems and you get so self-absorbed you forget about their problems and they forget about yours. They have their own struggles but it’s hard not to feel you’re not important to them. It’s hard not to feel like a burden on them.

Some people only listen to your problems, so they can share their problems. They’re not actually concerned. Sometimes you just need to vent, and everyone thinks you’re just complaining or yelling or angry all the time. You have to tell them you need to vent before they’ll accept your ranting. This frustrates you and stops you from talking to anyone else, about anything. You push yourself away and wall up your emotions and feel no connection to anyone. You no longer feel important to anyone or yourself. This is when you have to play a trick on yourself.

When all feels lost, that is the moment you have to remind yourself of the people who do care. The people who’ve been there for you before. Maybe they aren’t there right now, but that doesn’t mean they’ve abandoned you. They have their own struggles and sometimes they need reminding that they’re important. If you feel like a burden on someone, thank them for all they’ve put up with in the past. Thank them for still being a part of your life. Make sure they feel appreciated and they will never see you as a burden. And return the favor. Don’t take and never give.

What if you honestly don’t have anyone you can turn to and don’t feel comfortable talking with a stranger? You still have to force yourself to find those happy memories. Remind yourself that bad things happen in between all the good things. If you’ve had a bad week, a good week and a great week are on the horizon. Distraction can be helpful too; reading a book, watching a movie or TV show, video games, etc… All these can help alleviate those feelings. They won’t go away. They never do. Those feelings don’t define who you are, and you should never let them control you.

I wish I knew these things when I was younger. So much of my life was spent worrying or feeling negative that no one cared for me. The truth was no one around me was telling me that I was important or needed or wanted. That’s a hard cycle to break once it starts rolling. If no one in your life is telling you those things, you need to find new people. Each and every person is important, but only certain people can see you as important. Not everyone has that gift of seeing.

So, how do you keep going when you don’t feel important? You make yourself feel important. If you feel important (without being egotistical), others will feel you’re important. The first step is being important to yourself and changing the way you think about yourself. Easier said than done. It’s taken me nearly 20 years to figure that part out. I still struggle with it from time to time. Writing stories and poetry helps me get my thoughts out and prevents them from bottling up inside. You have to find something that helps you get thoughts out before they bottle up. Don’t let them fester inside you.

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13 Replies to “How Do You Keep Going When You Don’t Feel Important?”

  1. Great post! I definitely agree that some people only listen to my problems because they like to gossip about it to others or they just love the drama. It’s sad when you think you can rely on someone to not share your issues with others, yet they go behind your back and do just that. I even had a situation at work where a man came in to try to take advantage of me and I had to tell me boss it was concerning because of my background with sexual assault. It was told in confidentiality, yet he told the whole Board of Directors…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s so strange that we all need to hear how important and appreciated we are, but rarely go out of our way to make sure the people in our lives feel important and appreciated. This can be especially hard when we’re going through something rough and people twist it around to make you look even worse. All they really notice is you stopped showing up for them, not that you’re going through something or that their actions lead to you stepping away for your own mental sanity. It can be rough, especially when you communicate to people you are having a hard time and they ostracize you further. I agree it’s important to have an outlet. Also, just knowing that we all go through this at one point can help to feel less alone.

    Liked by 5 people

  3. I never used to believe in small victories. Comparing myself to others all the time, I thought they always had to be big, grand ones. I now believe in my small victories. Maybe one day a big one will come. But I’m still here, kicking and breathing. That is a big one.

    Liked by 5 people

  4. I love this. This is actually one of the first things I learned in therapy when I was a teenager, and that was to be selfish once in a while and think about your feelings and how you, yourself, want to feel.

    Liked by 4 people

  5. Sometimes its so important to be selfish and put yourself first. Taking life day by day and trying to be positive the best I can has helped change my life for sure when I feel unapperciated.

    Liked by 4 people

  6. I agree. I have to have “talks” either with myself or the culprit(s) playing with my mind. I remind myself of my accomplishments and I bully the negativity and threaten to tell my Father-God on them. They usually back off…for a while. 😊

    Liked by 5 people

  7. It is absolutely the worst thing that can happen to me before a big event in my life, because I will lose both time that I anticipated to use to get ready which I have to instead spend it reminding myself every single reason I am here, and I will also perform much worse. Usually the weekend is that danger zone for me.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Loved this post! I think those are some pretty profound words. Its so important for us as individuals to make ourselves feel important and more importantly to not just feel BUT to know we are important regardless to the individuals around us. Of course it is nice to hear others reassure us of our importance, but its more important for us to have that knowledge for ourselves.

    And I am all for the poetry writing 😉

    Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

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