I Want To Write More

It seems lately getting out of bed is getting harder these days. Even with a successful medication combo, I just don’t want to go to work. I hate my job, in fact I hate most of the jobs I’ve ever had. The only issue is now I’m with my dream company, in a low level entry position. I know, almost all entry level positions are terrible, but this one is especially taxing on me. All I want to do is stay home and write these days, which is funny because I didn’t want to write for months as you’ve probably seen from my absence on here and my personal blog. In fact my most recent post here was all about me calling out and staying home, regardless of me being out of sick time. Unfortunately, writing doesn’t pay my bills, and my full time and part time jobs do. So just figure that, I work full time, part time at another company, go to school, have weekly counseling, try to have a social life, and battle depression plus anxiety daily. I have so much constantly on my plate I am surprised that I have any time at all to write. Yet, it makes for a good hobby, a great time killer, is almost free, and is a great therapy for me. So I continue to write, despite having had to take a rather large break because I was overwhelmed with life in general. Yet, I still am missing something. Some crucial part of my existence that I have been unable to locate all my time. The will to live. It sounds worse than it is, well not really, but I manage the best I can. I have no reason, other than work, to get out of bed in the morning. Most weekends I’ll spend almost entirely in bed, just trapped in my head. Granted, I need that time to be able to unwind from my previous week, and gather myself to face my next. However, like I said, it’s getting continuously more difficult as time passes. Especially recently work hasn’t even been enough for me to drag myself out of bed. When I do call out sick, I spend the entire day in bed regretting my decision because of the anxiety surrounding my choice. But here I am, writing on my lunch break to escape the fact that I came into work today, and have to work late due to a doctors appointment this morning. Luckily, I have all of you wonderful people to cheer me up.

Also as a quick afterword, I will no longer be posting the same articles to this blog and my personal blog. So if you like my writing, be sure to follow me on my personal blog The Smiles We Bear, for more unique articles!

Yours,

Wolfgang

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11 Replies to “I Want To Write More”

    1. My mother is a wage slave as you call it (very accurate btw) and I want anything but to be stuck like she is. Yet, I don’t really have any other options

      Liked by 2 people

  1. The will to live, man. It’s hard to say. It’s scary to other folk out there.

    All I want to do is write, all I think about is escaping the day-to-day.

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  2. I started on a new medication recently- was having trouble getting out of bed before and still am to a certain degree. Motivation is a tricky creature when combined w/mental health lol

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  3. Written from the heart, I admire that. Your words rang true to how I felt too. I think of Solomon when he wrote that in all his glory and riches, at the end of the day it was all vanity and grasping at the wind. He reached success and extreme wealth but for him, knowing God was the only happiness he could find. For me it’s following Christ. Without this faith, life means nothing to me. Maybe finding faith can make up for an empty world?

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  4. ‘Weekends almost entirely in bed, trapped in my head’ – that’s me! Anxiety when I work and anxiety during my 2 days a week that I’m not incarcerated.

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