Today

Today I look back wondering where I went wrong and went right to deserve my husband but doing that depressed me enough to where I felt the need to read over your comments on my posts the past 2 weeks. You guys have inspired me to no end. The more I write for you, the more I feel fulfilled. I really want to say thank you for all your kind words. Things have been hectic for my husband and me over the past few months. I started a new job. He started a new job. We moved. He lost his job. Now Christmas is around the corner. I can’t just accept this low spot in my life without exploring why it had happened.

I’m supposed to get a new counselor in January, but until then I’m screwed for who I can talk it out with in person. So I sit and wonder. Then I realize that this is a good thing in disguise. I get to spend more time with my husband. I get to realize how much I love him every day. I get to see how he sleeps and thinks. So the more I explore why this happened I get stuck with more anxiety. I get stuck with more questions than answers as I explore this little problem.

Things do tend to get a little hairy at times. I can’t even play the game at times. So this begs the question why do we try? We try because we don’t feel complete without trying to win at the game. We can’t help but think that things need to go our way. We need to think that things are going our way to survive. Our psyche cant really handles negative news. Our psyche can only handle positive news because we usually focus on the negative things in life. Due to this small fact, we often need to remind ourselves of the good in the world.

Photo Credit: unsplash-logoNeONBRAND

5 Replies to “Today”

  1. Have you order of Bipolar in Order? It’s run by an instructor who has bipolar. He has several closed Facebook groups as well as running a class. One of the groups is https://www.facebook.com/groups/bipolarinorder/?ref=br_rs. You can contact Tom at https://www.facebook.com/tom.wootton.75 as he may may have some suggestions on how to cope while you wait for a new therapist. He also has YouTube videos that may help. Search Tom Wootton or BIpolar in Order.

    Been too many times without a good support system when dealing with my Bipolar 1 so I look for ways that can help me to cope when my support systems are lacking.

    Like

  2. Thank you for sharing. Remember that we all have lows. Regardless the cause or symptoms. You are not alone. We hear (read) what you are saying. Sometimes we rush out of a state in our lives for something better. But the only way out is through. For better or for worse, everything in your current moment is necessary. Happy holidays!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. You are on a positive track by persueing answers. Count that as a big positive. Make a list of the positives about yourself and your relationship. You seem to have a lot of good things going on despite the down turns. Keep a list of the positives in every day in a personal journal. You’ve got this. You are insightful and intuitive.

    Liked by 1 person

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