To My Fellow OCD-er

I came across an interview NPR conducted with John Green about his new book, which was based on his own experience with OCD. I learned that John Green has been dealing with OCD ever since as a young child.

One part that I empathized with him whole heartedly was when he spoke about how he gets “squirmy” whenever people ask him to talk about his triggers to his obsessions and compulsions. The interviewer respected and moved on, but I was clearly able to tell that he was still curious.

My fellow OCD-er, I wish I could give you a big hug as we bond over our unspeakable triggers. The triggers that the rest of the world seems to be so “intrigued” about – but how those ruin our days, weeks or even months ahead of us.

I think of my OCD symptoms as an annoying bully. It tags along everywhere I go, wanting an insight in every aspect of my life. Whenever I experience joy, “they” also want to be part of it by giving me a spray of thought that I can cling to and obsess about or drag me to be in an anxious state of mind by bringing the image of worst possible scenarios.

As OCD-ers, we all have unique ways our OCD shows, but in the end the way we describe our disorder seems to be the same – which is why it creates more empathy for one and another.

As weird as this sound, I get so excited when I see one of us! It suddenly feels like “our world” is the world that everyone lives in and it brings immense peace in my heart.

My fellow OCD-er, don’t be scared. Wherever you are, I would love to meet you. Come outside and let’s be bold. We don’t have to hide from the world. Let’s walk together to de-stigmatize our society by introducing our annoying bully.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Haelim

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7 Replies to “To My Fellow OCD-er”

  1. That, and people assume that everyone has the same symptoms of excessive hand-washing or floor-tapping. I do not have OCD, but have read that it can also take the form of repeated negative thoughts or an incorrect idea that will not desist….

    1. It can show a lot in thought patterns. My sisters show up that way. She has constant fears that plague her about death. She goes to the doctor at least once a week. Mine, however, shows up as “ticks”.

      1. See? And I didn’t even know this. A relative of mine has a bit of the germ worries, and also has to lock her house doors a few times.

  2. I was never a fan of John Green, but I can sympathize with this. Dealt with OCD since I was a kid, and it’s never something I was treated for. Thankfully my case isn’t so bad that I can’t manage it, and it’s gotten a lot more manageable over the years, but I still can’t make a post on my own site without making sure I’m using an odd number of tags. I wonder how OCD ties in with depression and other conditions.

    1. For me, my perfectionism (or efficiency) is my main obsession. I obsess over having planned out my way or I get extremely upset – which is how my depression started the first place. When things didn’t go the way I expected/wanted – it was strong enough to cause a depressive episode.

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