Good Morning

I’ve always had trouble sleeping, since I was a little kid. My father used to tell me to just close my eyes and lay there, that eventually that would have me fall asleep. It was easy for him to say, as that worked almost instantly for him, every single time. Yet, it never seemed to work for me, ever. Because of my inability to sleep well, I have never been a morning person. Each and every day that I woke up, in general, just meant to me that I had to struggle through another day. Thanks to depression, my sleep was stolen away, as were my reasons to get out of bed. I think that is why I rarely ever say good morning. When I have to obligatorily respond to people who wish me a good morning, I will usually just respond, “Morning”. As the morning for me is never good, I didn’t sleep enough, or I don’t feel like living. Mornings are generally rough for me, even after I started taking medications to sleep. I usually look for drowsiness as a side effect in my meds, so that I can take them all at night in the hopes that getting to sleep will be easier. While getting to sleep, with the meds, has indeed gotten easier, I seem to have found a new problem that is affecting my sleep. I am waking up in the middle of the night, sometimes numerous times a night. Luckily I can usually get back to sleep pretty easily, only if I wake up in the middle of the night. If I wake up, say around the time I’m actually supposed to get up, I’ll just stay up and lose that hour or so of sleep. I’ve written an article about how sleep is one of the most important things for fighting depression, and it’s just simply the truth. Sleep is one of the first things that depression will take away from you, because of how important good sleep is. Needless to say, if I don’t get good sleep, than my morning has no chance of being good. I’ve always been a very literal person like that. I guess it’s my secret way of letting people know that there’s something wrong with me. Yet to this day, I’ve never been asked why I didn’t say good in good morning. So I guess either people don’t care enough, or they don’t understand that I’m leaving out good on purpose.

Yours

Wolfgang


Also as a quick side note, I’m going to be starting ECT treatment in a month or so, and will be detailing my treatment on my personal blog The Smiles We Bear so go an follow me to never miss an update!

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12 Replies to “Good Morning”

  1. Since I became a mom 11 years ago, I know what lack of sleep means. Especially when you have a good night’s sleep and see how different a day can begin and develop.

  2. It definitely sucks not being to sleep well. I know just how difficult it is to fall asleep when you are depressed. And then that lack of sleep worsen your mood the next day. Not only that, I also can understand the pain of waking up in the middle of the night because I experienced it quite often. The most amount of times I wake up in the middle of the night was about 8 as far as I can remember. And when it’s finally time to get up, I felt like crap.

  3. Ahhh yes, I seem to have gotten into some rather bad “sleep hygiene” I believe it’s called of late. I shall have to rectify this. The problem I have is that unless I am listening to something on the radio or iPad, my mind starts wandering into dark places. Katie

    1. I suffer from the same problem, but also require silence to sleep, so I always find myself in the same conundrum every night. Lately I’ve found thinking the word sleep over and over again in my head not only wards of the “bad thoughts” but also helps me fall asleep

      1. Not a bad idea. I’ve tried the whole breathing in, holding and breathing out slowly, but it doesn’t seem to work at all. Problem is, I’ve got so much on my mind that it’s rather hard to focus. Hope you sleep well tonight.

      2. I usually get the same way, my medication, remeron, works great for that. You might want to talk to your dr about it. Hope you get some good sleep too!

  4. I never thought about the “good” in good morning.. always saw it as a whole phrase rather than two separate words 🤔
    I struggle to sleep at times too, and have learned how important good sleep is to fight my depressive/anxious tendencies. On that note, it’s 1AM and I need to start getting some sleep! Thank you for this thought-provoking post.

  5. Excellent post, thank you! I listen to hypnotic you tube recordings to help me sleep, I tried calming music/water etc but I found they still allowed my mind to wander.

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