Goodbye, My Best Friend

So tomorrow, I lose my best friend, someone I love more than anything in this world. I’m talking about my cat, Max. I’ve had this cat for almost 20 years, that’s all of my adult life. I don’t really even remember the day she was born, I was so little. The story goes, one night it was raining really hard, and my family must have been watching tv, because we were all in the living room. We hear a knock at the door, we have no idea who it was, it was late, we lived in the middle of nowhere, and we weren’t expecting anyone that night. It was a young couple, it must have been their first time on the mountain, because they seemed very unfamiliar with the area, and the customs of the people who lived there. It was very common for the pets of the residents of the area that I lived to be outdoor animals, that were allowed to come and go as they pleased. So needless to say we were surprised when this couple held a small kitten that was only a few weeks old. They said they found it wandering the road, in the darkness and the rain. Instantly, being children, my siblings and I begged our parents to let us keep the kitten, and we somehow won them over. That cat’s name was Tiger, or so we named it. We had tiger for a few years, she was our family’s first pet. That was until, somehow tiger became pregnant, most likely from one of the next door neighbors cats (the neighbor probably didn’t watch The Price is Right, because he didn’t believe in neutering). It was around Easter of 2000, that Tiger gave birth to 7 kittens herself, even though she was only a few years old (we didn’t really like spaying our animals either). I still remember, she gave birth in the closet of my sibling’s and my room, underneath an antique chair that had been in storage. It was wonderful, and even though my parents didn’t let us keep all 7 cats (they put some up for adoption) we ended up keeping 4 total. 3 girls and a boy, their names were Mrs. Whiskers, Mrs. Angel, Maxine, and Mr. Precious. We named the other 3 as well, but their names I don’t remember as well. It was soon after that, that we got a puppy, a collie named Cassie. Not long after that, the mother, Tiger, ran away, never to be seen again. It was a sad time for my family, but like I said, all the animals were more or less left to roam the surrounding area on their own, Tiger just never came back one day. I was lucky enough to have the one boy cat of the litter, which I named Mr. Precious. Unfortunately for me, when they were all about a year old, Mr. Precious ran away too, never to be seen again. This broke my heart when I was a kid. Luckily, we had an extra cat that no one claimed as their own, Maxine. So I, no longer having a cat to call my own, began to treat Max as my cat. We had those cats for many years before tragedy struck, Mrs. Angel, my brother’s cat got hit by a motorcycle while we were on vacation one year, killing her almost immediately. Needless to say my brother was heartbroken, and still is I think to this day.

My family only had 2 cats left. Soon after that, we lost my dog, Cassie, and the whole family mourned. It was not much longer after that, my parents got divorced, my mother, my siblings and I moved to the house we are in now. However, we left our 2 cats, Max and Mrs. Whiskers, at the old house, because my mother always hated cats, and saw this as an opportunity to be rid of them once and for all. About a year after we moved in, my mother finally gave way to us kids, and let our cats move in the the house with us. They were horribly malnourished, and infested with fleas. Those first few weeks were terrible, as they looked so sickly. As a quick side note, my cat Max, has had a tumor on her side for the past 10 years or so. The vet told us that operating was impossible as it was fused into her rib cage, and there was no guarantee that even after it was removed that it wouldn’t grow back. Luckily it was cancerous, and she didn’t seem to be bothered by it, the opposite in fact, she loved to be pet on it. Back to today, she once again is horribly malnourished, the tumor is now stealing all her nutrition, and she’s growing more sickly by the day. It is now, that I’ve decided that I’m going to put her to sleep tomorrow. It was a very hard decision to make, probably one of the hardest in my life. Like I said, I’ve had this cat for all of my adult life, and I’ve loved her more than anything. It is now, out of love, that I need to end her suffering. I’ve put it off for too long, in the hopes that she would get better, and she has only gotten worse. My selfishness has only caused her to suffer more. This is the hardest thing that I have ever done, when I decided earlier this week that I would put her to sleep on Saturday, I’ve been in a state of sadness and anxiety. I don’t want the day to come where I have to say goodbye. Saying goodbye to any pet, especially one you’ve had your whole life, is incredibly difficult. Experts say that sometimes it’s even worse than losing a human family member. Yet, the time has come, regardless of whether I wanted it to or not. The last thing I can do for her is show her how much I love her, and send her off peacefully. So tonight, I’m making her a handmade dinner as her last meal, a shredded tuna steak, covered in catnip with a side of milk. In the hopes that when tomorrow comes, she can leave happily, knowing that even up until the end, she was loved dearly. I just hope that for her sake, I can make it through this difficult time. I want to thank you all in advance for your love and support that I’m sure will be pouring out.

Yours,

Wolfgang

May Max Rest In Peace.

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62 Replies to “Goodbye, My Best Friend”

  1. My heart goes out to you. I had a cat that has been gone for more than 15 years and I still miss him terribly. Some people don’t understand how deeply we can connect with a pet, be it cat, dog or fish! I wish you peace with the knowledge that you are doing what is best for Max. ❤

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Sending healing thoughts and prayers your way. <3. It sounds like your sweet kitty has lived a beautiful life and has been blessed to spend it with you. Wishing you peace.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I know, and I plan to hold her as she goes, which will be incredibly difficult for me, but at least she’ll go in loving arms

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      2. I cried like a baby, and it was really hard. But I was with her until the end. I’m not doing so well today, but my friend stopped by so he’s keeping me occupied, otherwise I wouldn’t have left bed all weekend. Thank you for checking up on me, means a lot.

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      3. Of course!

        I am glad that your friend stopped by 🙂 Hang in there- I know much easier recommend that actually feeling like it. Take comfort in the fact that you were with her through the end and that she knows you loved her much.

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      4. Just wanted to check in again 🙂 I know that this is a hard time for you and it will take some time to hurt less. Just know that you are in this stranger’s thoughts and that she hopes that you had a little piece of joy in some way today 🙂

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  3. I understand that some areas have outside pets I’m from Tennessee. Now in Cleveland Ohio. And I wanted to say I am SO sorry, I know for a fact just how you feel. My first rescue cat (9-2012) was either according to the vet that had to pull all his infected teeth and scrub his gums due to stomatitis told us he was anywhere from 7-10 years old. I got him when he wandered up on ,y porch to try in vain to eat food I’d put out for the strays. He survived that illness and surgery, but in November 2014 he came down with what was thought to be a really bad congestive type kitty cold. Nope, it was the start of the end congestive heart failure.
    Here’s the most terrible part the part that hurts the most, I was not strong enough to do the right thing, to allow him to pass painlessly and in peace. No, I watched him get worse till the day he seemed to be having a heart attack. I’ve got another one now and I live in fear of her end. I’m crying now, from your story and mine to. It’s true love does hurt very much, but at least YOU have the strength to do the right thing. Many blessings and prayers for you and your little girl.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Hi, just wanted to let you know that I’ve been thinking of you and what you’re going through. Sending lots of prayers and positive energies…(((( Hugs ))))😢

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh, my heart aches for you. I know how important pets are. I’ve had cats for my entire life, and it’s hard to have to let go. We’ve already had to put down one of them – our sweet, talkative Russian blue, Zoe. I worry about two of our other ones, as they are growing old. The oldest is amazingly healthy after years of having health issues – she had a heart condition and for a long time has chewed out her fur for reasons we’ve never been able to find out. The other one is currently sick now. I’m very worried about her. We’re supposed to hear from the vet today about the results of her blood work. She doesn’t seem to be in pain, so we’re hoping it’s something minor and manageable. But anyways, all that is just to say how much I sympathize with you. It’s a hard time to go through, especially at the holidays. I hope you find peace in this time and know that what you’re doing is the best for Max.
    Sending you lots of love and support,
    Your friend, Raven ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you very much for your support. We actually had to put down the sick one (Mittens) today. It was really hard. I just uploaded a post about her if you’d like to check it out, I’d appreciate it. Again I give my love and hopes for strength during this time, even more so as I’m right here with you.

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      2. I’m so sorry to hear that. I truly know what it’s like, and it’s probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Stay strong my friend

        Liked by 1 person

  5. My heart is so sad about you losing Max. The amazing bond that we can form with animals is truly incredible. I lost my cat Carl a few years ago and I still get choked up when I talk about him. I understand the pain, be sure to take your time healing!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. So very sorry. I know how painful it is to lose a pet friend, who has been your constant companion for so very long. My cat, Fuzzy, was that for me. He was with me for 18.5 years and I lost him in 2017. I still miss that cat. Always. He was the best cat ever…and I have had many cats. You’ll miss Max forever, but the love you shared will last forever too. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Sending deepest sympathies to you all. It is so hard to make a decision like this and even though you are making the right choice, it doesn’t make it easier.
    My thoughts are with you all. I know how hard it is to lose a loved pet.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. It is and you know it is. You have many cherished memories together.
        I’ve not had pets myself that have aged to the age as yours, but the pain of when it comes to them no longer being here is as hard.
        Unfortunately, I have had to make the decision when it came to them going. None died naturally. It never gets any easier.
        My last pet where I had to make that decision of when to put her to sleep, was back in March. I won’t forget her, she’s in my heart, as yours will be. Go with your grief, in your own time.

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  8. I’m so very sorry. We have had to put down two of our kitties in the past few years and it is so hard. The last one was especially hard on my husband because he had an extremely special bond with that cat. He still tears up to this day about it and it has been 2 years.

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    1. I don’t think that I’ll ever be able to completely heal from this, that cat has saved my life a few times when I was severely depressed. I love Max more than life itself, and tomorrow, I’m going to have to lose her.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. 😦 I understand. I wish there were some way to change what must be. I wish our animals lived as long as we do.

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      2. Unfortunately, cats and dogs just can’t. Some fish, birds and reptiles do, but not our fluffy friends, it’s sad, but is just the way that life works

        Liked by 1 person

  9. My thoughts are with you tomorrow. As an animal lover and have had to deal with the heart break of losing family pets, I know tomorrow will be very tough. Stay strong.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I will try my best, but I’m not sure I can do it. I’m trying to convince myself that I have to be there, so that she can see me as she falls asleep for the last time. I don’t think I’ll be able to hold myself together at all though

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It will probably be one, if not the toughest things you will have to ever do. I hope you can hold it together too, I know Max would want you to be strong for both of you.

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  10. It sounds like your life has not always been easy and saying goodbye to Max may be one of the hardest things you ever do. I am much older than you by the sounds of it and I have had to do this multiple times. It never gets easier but my cats are the reason I’m still alive right now. You have my deepest sympathy and admiration for finding the strength to let go. Stay with her as she falls asleep. I have bawled and wept at my vet’s office more than once,all vets have seen it, Don’t be embarrassed and let her be with you, even if you are crying your eyes out it will help her. It will hurt at the time but afterward you’ll be glad.I hope you can do it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I hope I can find the strength to do it, I’m just so scared right now. Scared that I’ll let her down when she needs me the most, and for the last time. I’ve cried more in the past 2 days than I have in years, it just hurts every time I think about it. I hope that I can do the right thing tomorrow

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Your tears are a measure of your love. You won’t let her down by letting them flow, L’ll be praying for you both.

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  11. Well, you made me cry, a lot, thanks, I needed it. I adore cats. I have 6 now and I would do anything for them, their well being. What you are doing tomorrow requires a lot of love and strength. I have done it in the past when some of my cats had gotten really sick, and the pain is unbearable.
    My heart is with you now and will be with you tomorrow and with your beautiful cat. I admire your strength and absolute love you have for her. You won’t be alone. I will be thinking about you and your kitty picturing you both holding each others hearts. I am sure she knows its the best thing for her.
    Cats are so smart and intelligent. My Andie past away last year, December 13th and she was so attached to me she would come to me as soon as I thought about calling her to come. Weird but true. Like she read my thoughts or something. I still don’t recover from losing her.
    I am sending you hugs to you and to your sweet cat. Eternal love, Alan.

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  12. 🥺🥺I’m sorry. Putting down my baby boy was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. Also, did you mean the tumor wasn’t cancerous? You said luckily it was, so I just wanted to check!

    Eva

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  13. My heart filled condolences. I had to put one of my dogs down and I turned into a wreck. Luckily my other two boys were there to comfort me. You will be alright in time.

    Liked by 1 person

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