In the past few days, I’ve been trying to avoid getting on social media. Why? Because of FOMO (aka. Fear of missing out). Posts after posts, everyone was posting how great their 2018 was and how they can’t wait to see what 2019 has for them.
But for me, most of 2018 sucked.
Don’t get me wrong – there were many joyful moments in 2018 (including starting a blog), making new lifelong friendships and finding victory over my mental health.
But, it was by far the most painful year I have experienced in my short 23 years of life.
2018 was a monumental year for my mental health. It took a big turn, which led me to ALMOST being hospitalized, got me to a psychiatrist’s office and started medication. I am grateful for having the resources that I have to be treated and have the support to keep on fighting. But I just can’t get over the fact how drastically things changed from where I was a year before.
While everyone seemed to be reminiscing over their wonderful 2018, I was reminiscing over my painful, heart breaking sad moments of 2018. Every time I looked at someone else’s post on how great their year was, I felt like I was missing out on life. I instantly wanted to blame my “defective brain” for missing out on life.
However, I know that is not true.
I know my FOMO is another layer my mental illness is casting over me, and I am not letting that happen. And that is why, I am confessing my FOMO here so I can move on from the past and look towards the future.
2018, you have been great but you also sucked. You gave me so much joy but you also gave me overflowing amount of pain.
2019, I hope you have more sympathy for me. Please.
FOMO is one of the reasons why I came off most social media some time ago. Really what people present can have such a negative effect on our self-esteem and even the idea of FOMO seems generated by a social media world which sometimes fails to reflect the realities of life. Chin up, here’s to a better 2019! 🙂
So true. I tried going on a social media fast once but it’s so hard when so many thing revolves around social media! Happy 2019!
No one on the planet could have possibly had the most amazingly wonderful year. ever Yes, I had a good year but there were low points, many low points fortunately for me the good outweighed the bad so it’s relatively easy to focus on the positive.
I said this to someone yesterday and will no doubt say it again… social media portrayal is not an accurate reflection of real life.
Hope 2019 is kind to you x
You’re so right. Thank you!
Here’s to a healthy, happy 2019. 🙂
Happy 2019!
I’m more than double your age and still “this” curated social media frenzy around new year- made me shut off my blog (and virtual world in general) for last 15 days. May you have a wonderful year ahead. 🙂
Glad to hear I’m not alone in this! Happy new year 🙂
You’re an amazing human being Haelim and I get the feeling of not wanting to see all the posts about every ones 2018. I have been there so many times in my life. I wish you a better overall 2019. Stay strong and always keep fighting. If you ever need someone to talk to I am always here.
Thank you James! It really does mean a lot. Wishing you the best in 2019!
The thing with social media is that people tend to post the highlight reels of their lives and we compare our everyday ups and downs to those highlights. We tend to only get to see the time they are happy and succeeding and not the times they are down and failing. I know 2019 has a lot of great things in store for you, for all of us, but I also know it will come with it’s share of pain.
You’re right. I saw a post saying comparing myself to someone’s social media post is like a backstage moment of myself to a front stage of someone else. Best of luck in 2019
I totally “get” this post, and kind of hide for the same reason. But I also hide due to an offshoot of this: I don’t want to drag people down with a real post of my situation at the holidays. Who wants to read about someone struggling (is how my thoughts go). This is too bad because so many people do struggle at the holidays and showing a light on it could be helpful.
I agree. I don’t want to “bring people down” by being honest on my thoughts, but there also is a side where it needs to be spoken! Finding balance is key.
Like you, my 2018 was full of triumphs and tragedies. It’s easy for people to say “Focus on the good things” but that’s a lot easier said than done. Fortunately, I have some good things to look forward to in the coming year and I hope you will find the same.
Thank you!
At 23 my mental health also took a turn for the worst. I went through the same motions of seeing a psychiatrist, getting on medicine and considering many times if I needed to go inpatient. I survived and I’m going to be turning 26 in April! I believe in you, Haelim! 2019 hopefully has wonderful things in store.
Thank you!! Wishing you the best of luck Megan 🙂
I get that. I am doing 100 times the work for tje same reason. Fear of missing out on freedom
What kind of work are you doing to work out your FOMO?
Just doing more. Taking more action. Failing as much as i can so that im not affraid of it. I fail i forgive myself and i learn. And try again.
I always try to remember that most people put a positive sheen on things when they’re out in public, even when they’re having problems. I’m willing to guess a majority of those people didn’t really have such a great 2018, but either they want to think they did or they’re just saying they did to get along with the group.
Very true. I doubt anyone thinks to post their “worst moments” of 2018 on social media to brag about. It’s odd how I struggle to screen this out even when I know what I see is a tiny portion of their lives!
Hi Haelim, you don’t really know if those who said they had a fabulous 2018 really truly did…they might just be saying so. It’s like when you say to someone; “How are you doing?” They always say “Great” or something positive, when they could be feeling pretty horrible. Also remember that out of our darkest moments can come the most beautiful and meaningful areas of our lives. You may not see it now, but years down the road when you look back what you went through, those dark moments maybe for a reason. I’ve learned now to look for the positive in the most darkest situation….true, it can be hard at times, but keep looking.
So true. Thank you for your wisdom! I’ll keep on looking!
Awesome….always keep hope alive and keep walking forward….. I do.
No matter what, you’re perfect as you are now, struggles and all. Much love to you and hope for the New Year!
Thank you Laurie!! Wishing you the best of luck in 2019 as well!
First I hope with you that 2019 will be gentler and will bring you all the best! The social media has caused us all this FOMO problem and it’s the same as what happening in society, in our daily life but it’s more effective because nowadays everyone has access to social media and so…We always look to people that we think they’re better, prettier, richer, cleverer, more popular, etc…but the thing that each person is special as each fingerprint is! It’s useless to compare yourself to anyone, I mean you can have idols, dreams, ambitions…but you are unique as everyone is! The people that are posting that 2018 is great, I believe they have skipped the bad moments, the bad days, that’s it…People only post the shiny image on social media believe me, you’ll be shocked if you know the real stories. Moreover probably these people had shitty previous years, as 2018 was a hard year for you, maybe 2017 or 2015 were awful for them…I know it’s easy said than done but it’s the only way and it’s definitely better than the stress we’re having when we watch and compare.
Definitely. Looking back, my 2016 was one of the best years I had thus far — but life isn’t always bright and shinny. I wish you the best of luck as well in 2019!
Exactly! Thank you for your wishes as well 🙂
My 2018 was terrible. The only year that was worse for me was 2017. It’s been a miserable few years. BUT, we’re still here! I have hope that 2019 will be better.
Yes! You brought out such a good point. We ARE still here! Wishing you the best of luck in 2019!
Thank you, same to you!
2018 was hell for myself as well. I, too, became very unstable with my mental health. With four children at stake there were a lot of hard lessons for me. What looked like little steps to the outside world, they were giant leaps for me (getting the help I need). 2019 will also suck. I’m not good with change but I know it needs to happen if I want to reach any of my goals. I’m quite resistant at times and lash out but I’ve got the right kind of help now so I’m sure it will go smoother than anticipated. So, 🍻 to us in our endeavors and may they take us places we never thought we’d go!!
Yes, cheers to 2019! Praying that 2019 will NOT suck but will be filled with victories for you!
I agree with you on the FOMO…one of the reasons I deactivated my Facebook account a couple years ago. And I only spend 5-10 minutes a day on Instagram, mostly with fellow bipolar and recovering addict followers.
I deleted the fb app on my phone and occasionally scroll on my laptop – and that’s been helping a great deal! But I agree. I’m trying my best to use social media for very specific reasons only