Sleep. My oldest enemy.
My sleep issues have been around longer than my anxiety or even depression. It has always been an issue. Sleep eludes me almost every day.
It has been in life since I was a young child. So many sleepless nights. I estimate that in this life, I have spent more time awake than asleep. Before the days of Seroquel and the endless sleeping medications (which one affected me so bad that I slept walked through a glass table), there was just me and not sleeping. It was not unusual for me to go days at a time without sleep. When I was finally exhausted, I slept for a few hours.
I became really good at two things while I was not sleeping–video games and writing. I could spend days at a time writing and playing video games. It is where my love for role-playing video games and why my current work in progress is a fantasy fiction supernatural novel.
I have an affinity with the night. I write my best stuff and my best ideas come from late night writing sessions. I often wonder why I don’t sleep during the day and stay awake through the night.
There have been times over the last couple of years that I thought about making the change. I am up so much in 24 hours maybe being a day sleeper is the best course. I doubt it will work because I meet clients during the day.
So, I will continue to work towards trying to get to sleep and try to stay asleep. I really feel as if the Seroquel isn’t working much anymore. Hopefully, my depression will subside in the coming week, and I can refocus on staying busy. The upside is I have been working on the pre-work on a new novel. Its going to be the best one I have written.
Stay strong in the fight.
Always Keep Fighting
James
I will battle the enemy with you on the front line… Oh, Sleep, you foul creature.
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I hate the battle but I must fight.
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My husband has trouble sleeping too. He can sleep for 2 to 3 hours then is restless for the rest of the night. Because of his sleeping problems and having an infant, I have spent endless nights wide awake. I hope you are able to find a solution to help you sleep. Share your secrets so maybe I can help my husband too.
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I am not sure there is a solution. It has always been a problem.
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So my husband says as well. I just wish for not just my husband’s sake but others as well, that something is found to help better than just sleeping medication.
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I can’t wait to read that novel you are working on.
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Reblogged this on Fox&Co. Mental Health and commented:
Sounds about right!
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Such a battle .. I hope u find a way to rest .. ❤️
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I deal with insomnia on a much smaller scale when I am depressed, mostly just waking early and not going back to sleep. Nothing like what you go through though. Hope you figure out a way to get some sleep. I’m sure you’ve probably tried many things to no avail. Keep trying though. Hope you get a breakthrough some day.
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The best thing I have is Seroquel which helps somewhat. It’s not a great solution.
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James, I am also an insomniac. It has been around since childhood. I’ve learned that I am capable of doing so much in spite of not sleeping, but do I wish I could rest peacefully.
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I do so much in my life as well, but peace would be nice.
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Insomnia’s a problem for a lot of people. But some people are just night people and also way more creative at night and sleep better during the day. Night Owls! 🙂
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Do you have sleep apnoea? Ever since I was diagnosed and have a CPAP machine, my sleep has definitely improved.
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I get anxious over trying to fall asleep. I eventually do but I never rest. When you finish the book, can’t wait to read it. AKF
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Thanks! I know that feeling. Night tone anxiety is killer on your sleep goals.
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