Sleep. My oldest enemy.
My sleep issues have been around longer than my anxiety or even depression. It has always been an issue. Sleep eludes me almost every day.
It has been in life since I was a young child. So many sleepless nights. I estimate that in this life, I have spent more time awake than asleep. Before the days of Seroquel and the endless sleeping medications (which one affected me so bad that I slept walked through a glass table), there was just me and not sleeping. It was not unusual for me to go days at a time without sleep. When I was finally exhausted, I slept for a few hours.
I became really good at two things while I was not sleeping–video games and writing. I could spend days at a time writing and playing video games. It is where my love for role-playing video games and why my current work in progress is a fantasy fiction supernatural novel.
I have an affinity with the night. I write my best stuff and my best ideas come from late night writing sessions. I often wonder why I don’t sleep during the day and stay awake through the night.
There have been times over the last couple of years that I thought about making the change. I am up so much in 24 hours maybe being a day sleeper is the best course. I doubt it will work because I meet clients during the day.
So, I will continue to work towards trying to get to sleep and try to stay asleep. I really feel as if the Seroquel isn’t working much anymore. Hopefully, my depression will subside in the coming week, and I can refocus on staying busy. The upside is I have been working on the pre-work on a new novel. Its going to be the best one I have written.
Stay strong in the fight.
Always Keep Fighting