Finding peace in meds

I never wished to discover how medication can be a quick and easy fix at times.

This past weekend, I felt like my old enemy depression was slowly creeping back in as I was suffering with the flu.

After having a panic attack as I started to fear the relapse of depression, I went through my med cabinet to take a mg of Klonopin (which is a benzo).

In about 30 minutes, it calmed the storm in my brain like nothing ever happened.

It’s been about a week and thankfully – I’m trying to taper down the amount I’m taking. But I hate myself for turning to medication as my first resort.

When I experienced my first ever depressive episode, I just terminated my therapy and have never seen a psychiatrist before. But now, I am back in therapy and under a watch of psychiatrist as I have my routine visits in his office.

I am scared, but not as scared. Because I know I CAN and WILL get better once more.

But, is medication really my ultimate answer to win this battle?

17 Replies to “Finding peace in meds”

  1. I had to learn not to see the meds as a weakness because they do make me stronger and better. Just like you would take a heart medicine or other precriptions given for a medical disorder. I now give thanks for the pills that keep me level and able to participate in life. I’m ok with forever as long as I am healing. 💜🙏🏼

    Liked by 6 people

  2. It is a fine line. I have taken medication for the last ten years and now they feel as if they are hurting more than helping these days at least for me. Still, medications helped me get to this point and I am thankful for that point.

    Liked by 5 people

  3. I too had been on meds for 15 yrs. I have been off for almost 3 now. I feel they definitely helped heal me at the time. Now I take a more holistic approach to my well being. Don’t beat yourself up about taking medications. You are doing what you need to do to heal. Be kind to yourself and non judgmental. What you think and believe is what you will attract into your life. Wishing you all the best❤

    Liked by 4 people

  4. I feel like medicine helps some of us get back on the right track. I will take a pill for anxiety if I am having an anxiety attack or full blown panic attack (which doesn’t happen often). I don’t think there is anything wrong with utilizing medications when we really need them. It’s when we begin abusing them is when a problem begins.

    Liked by 4 people

  5. I agree that you shouldn’t beat yourself up if you need the meds to calm down. Do what you feel is best for you at that moment. I had a panic attack this morning and taking a lorazepam calmed me down enough to be able to drive my kids to an appt. I have found that having a good support system–friends and family close by that I can turn to when I am struggling or needing extra help is a huge calming factor for me. Even if I can talk to someone on the phone and share how I am feeling, it helps so much! I have had friends help talk me down from a panic attack. I have friends who listen and offer to help if I need them. It lets me know I’m not alone and there are people who care about me and can back me up when I’m struggling on my own!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Healing is such a personal thing. Some people take medicine some people other things work for them. For me medication works for me. I applaud you for writing this post and being honest thank you for sharing. You are not alone.

    Liked by 4 people

  7. I used to hate being on meds but realize now they enable to to actually function and enjoy my life, so I don’t feel bad about being on them anymore. I also have klonopin as a prn, I try to be cautious with using it it since it can be addicting so I understand not wanting to rely on it, but try to be kind towards yourself, you’re prescribed it for a reason ❤

    Liked by 3 people

  8. I think you have to be such a strong person to understand where you need help and how certain medications can assist. I used to feel so defeated when I would pick up all of my prescriptions at the pharmacy and wonder why I needed all of these meds to be “normal.” But, I’ve now learned that it should be celebrated that I’ve found a mixture of medications, activities, and therapy that allows me to be as awesome as I can be. And that’s great! The only thing that matters is finding what allows you to be the best you possible, whether that’s medication or not. Stay strong! ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

  9. I’ve been on a steady course of medication for anxiety and depression for so long. While a great temporary “fix” meds are not the way to better mental health. I have discovere other methods that are beginning to work for me. Follow me on I love how open you are and it inspires me to do the same. By talking to others you are taking the first baby step to recovery.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I don’t think meds are really a weakness, they can do some good when you take them as you are directed, and if they don’t work then keep trying, talk openly with your doctor, to get them fixed. Like others have said I’m okay with being on meds forever as long as I’m healthy and happy

    Liked by 1 person

  11. No, medication is not always the answer for everyone. However, some people do need it in order to get past the initial stages of life paralyzing fear and anxiety so that they can cope with the real issues. Do not be ashamed! Just find something that works better for you! Yoga and meditation are my new go to!


    1. I tried yoga few times but I feel like I constantly have to fidget around 😅 Do you have any tips on how you were able to get started ?!


      1. I started with meditation. There is an app called headspace that I love. Once I realized how much it helped yoga was the next natural step. Plus I have balance issues so it’s supposed to help. I also found an app for it on Apple TV that is free. Once I feel comfortable enough and quit falling over (lol) I am going to start attending classes!


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