Depression Days – Part Two

This song inspired me today

The Depression Days Continue

I have been waiting for inspiration to find me again. Depression has taken over my daily life, but it is the little things that can get you through, listen to the song above if your feeling depressed at this moment.

Depression has hit me hard this week. Yesterday I could barely get out of bed after running around most of Monday.

I wake up with no energy to get up and do things that I love, especially writing. I have been drowning in the “what ifs” and thoughts about what I could have done differently the day before. I get lost in the “I just want to stay in bed, it is just easier this way.” I give in and the days become blurry. I have small moments of peace, and in those moments it feels so easy to give up.

The little things start to go. I find it impossible to take a shower, to brush my teeth, and to pull a comb through my hair. Getting dressed and eating becomes impossible, and these tasks are often left unattended. I stare at the blank page trying to will myself into writing–it never works.

I do not give in, but I want to…

Today was a little easier, but I have a strange feeling that I am in for a long depression cycle.

There is always hope because I have been in this position so many times. I am stronger now and weathering the storm is something that I know is possible. I have hope despite the feeling of hopelessness that depression brings into my daily life. I resisted the urge to drink. I am able to keep my darkest thoughts away from suicide.

I made a choice a long time ago to be strong and always keep fighting. Those are not just words that get me through the day, it is my entire philosophy.

Today I got out of bed. Today I took a shower, brushed my teeth, and combed my hair. I got dressed and had breakfast and lunch. I changed my attitude, and I can feel that these feelings are temporary. I did some school work and wrote a blog post (maybe two if I have the energy.) When it becomes too much, I will curl up in my bed, listen to some music, and try again tomorrow. I am alive, and I have a tomorrow.

Always Keep Fighting

James

unsplash-logoElijah Hiett

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Joyce McCown

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Alexander Lam

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25 Replies to “Depression Days – Part Two”

      1. That’s all you can do really. I hope the fog lifts for you soon.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Thank you, James. I needed this today. I don’t feel brave right now. I’m fighting, but I’m hitting my breaking point. Music gives me hope and this video made me laugh. If it wasn’t snowing so hard, I’d go outside and start dancing. Keep writing!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I am sorry you are in the same place, and I am happy that it helped. It’s okay to dance even if it’s just on the inside. You can fight this! Be brave.

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  2. That song is fierce! It’s the ferocious little gentle reminder that helps us in those overwelming moments. Depression is so ugly. It robs us of so much… Your life, though, still has victories… It still has yes, hope and joy despite how loud the lies are. I wish I could hug you dear James… And tell you in person how wonderful you are… But, no voice is any more significant than your own. You’re a champion, a winner. Every day you wake up is a new day to tell yourself how awesome you are.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Beautiful post 💕 You are strong and I’m sure you will get through it 💪 I also struggle with my mental health and with finding a job. Sometimes it’s hard to find hope but there’s always hope. We can do it

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I feel you James as I was on the same path! Keep going no matter how struggle it can be. You are not alone. There’s hope and there’s tomorrow.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I relate to this more these days than other days. I also ‘do not give in but I want to’. The only thing I can do is to keep going. Consistency shall prevail!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I love how you always end your posts with “always keep fighting”. Never give up hope! As long as tomorrow comes, it will be a new day. I pray that you will get through these dark times and come out the other side as soon as possible. Hang in there, man!

    Liked by 3 people

      1. It is something that has always got me through. It comes from Jared padalecki’s campaign. It was made me believe that I could make a difference.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Today I finally made it back to the Reader, tomorrow, maybe I’ll write.

    I understand this. Hang in there! You are an inspiration.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. On days when getting out of bed is a challenge, and brushing teeth and hair are just out of the question, we just do what we can. Sometimes, because we must, we manage to do what we can’t. I didn’t know Jared Padalecki had a campaign. I shall look that up. I’m a Supernatural fangirl, and I know Jared has had mental health issues, but not that he had done anything like setting up a campaign. One thing I have heard from creatives, though, is that you can’t wait for inspiration. Some days you just plod through with the muse asleep on the couch, snoring.

    Liked by 1 person

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