The Depression Days Continue
I have been waiting for inspiration to find me again. Depression has taken over my daily life, but it is the little things that can get you through, listen to the song above if your feeling depressed at this moment.
Depression has hit me hard this week. Yesterday I could barely get out of bed after running around most of Monday.
I wake up with no energy to get up and do things that I love, especially writing. I have been drowning in the “what ifs” and thoughts about what I could have done differently the day before. I get lost in the “I just want to stay in bed, it is just easier this way.” I give in and the days become blurry. I have small moments of peace, and in those moments it feels so easy to give up.
The little things start to go. I find it impossible to take a shower, to brush my teeth, and to pull a comb through my hair. Getting dressed and eating becomes impossible, and these tasks are often left unattended. I stare at the blank page trying to will myself into writing–it never works.
I do not give in, but I want to…
Today was a little easier, but I have a strange feeling that I am in for a long depression cycle.
There is always hope because I have been in this position so many times. I am stronger now and weathering the storm is something that I know is possible. I have hope despite the feeling of hopelessness that depression brings into my daily life. I resisted the urge to drink. I am able to keep my darkest thoughts away from suicide.
I made a choice a long time ago to be strong and always keep fighting. Those are not just words that get me through the day, it is my entire philosophy.
Today I got out of bed. Today I took a shower, brushed my teeth, and combed my hair. I got dressed and had breakfast and lunch. I changed my attitude, and I can feel that these feelings are temporary. I did some school work and wrote a blog post (maybe two if I have the energy.) When it becomes too much, I will curl up in my bed, listen to some music, and try again tomorrow. I am alive, and I have a tomorrow.
Always Keep Fighting