Almost 6 months ago, I lost the most important man in my life, my father. We were very close, and it absolutely wrecked me to lose him. I did write about this in this post, and wrote this poem while thinking about the last two days of his life. Today’s poem is for all my unanswered questions.
Who’s hand am I left holding
Now that you’ve gone away?
Who will be my 6AM
Breakfast date on Tuesdays?
Who will see the movies with me
That no one else wants to see?
Who will annoy me with politics
If you’re not in the driver’s seat?
How do I fall asleep at night
With that day stuck in my head?
How do I get up every day
Knowing you’re not there?
Is life always this unfair
Or is there some sort of balance?
Are you really just gone
Like you believed
Or is there something more?
What if I meet the one?
Who will give me confirmation
On if you think he’s good enough?
Who will walk me down the aisle
If that day comes along?
Who will give me grief
When I’m late to watching Blacklist?
Who will be my rock
When I get caught up in my head?
Who will text me “Good Night Moon”
Or even “Good night, baby?”
Who will answer if I text back
Who will tell me terrible jokes
And send me endless texts?
There was a sort of comfort
In the “annoyance”
That is now filled with silence.
Who will guide me in this world
When I feel lost and confused?
Would you have chosen differently
If you knew how it would end?
Are you watching over us
Like everybody says?
Who will give the perfect hugs
That let me fall apart
Then put me back together
Like it never happened at all?
I’m feeling pretty lost these days
I wish I had some answers
To get me through the hardest days
But these questions are left unanswered…
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