How I Wanted to Quit Blogging– For a Moment
I have been overwhelmed lately. Graduate school, my work in freelance, and of course my writing has stretched me thin. My issues with a rapid cycling mixed episode and my social anxiety are making each day a challenge.
Anyone that follows my writing here on my blog knows that this place has been so amazing in my life. I have never shared more of my experiences here than anywhere else on the posts of this blog (the small exception is my memoir.) I could not imagine walking away, but sometimes I feel there is nothing left for me to say. In the past two weeks, there has been a feeling of distance between my writing here on my blog.
It could be the time of year. I always tend to struggle to find my focus during the colder winter months. The recent time change has allowed me to be more productive and I see that my mental health is improving, which is everything. It is a small sample size, but I am always better when the weather is much better.
I felt terrible because I love writing my blog, but with everything going on, I can’t help but feel overwhelmed and that something has to give because I am heading towards being overwhelmed. It was my own fault when I had last week off I decided to nothing but write. The days I took off were because I had no choice–mixed episode and all.
What is Next?
Drowning. That is how I feel right now. It is crazy because I am always thinking in my head, what is the next thing for me? I thought I had the answer, but the truth is I might have jumped the gun.
I was talking to a fellow mental health blogger and writer about Patreon. It sounded like the perfect next step. You come up with tiers that people can subscribe to, and you offer fantastic perks. It would be perfect. I could write full-time and quit freelance writing (which has been really difficult lately, there are just not enough hours in the day.) I might have been fooling myself. I am not ready for such a thing.
I am back to the drawing board on so many levels. One positive thing is that I am done with my memoir. I need to save enough to have an editor go over every inch, but The Bipolar Writer: A Memoir is ready. I hope to self-publish in May (I will do some querying in April, but it looks like self-publishing is the right thing for the memoir. (BTW: I am calling my followers Skye-Walkers… what do you think?)
With that, I wanted to show a concept of my cover. Let me know what you think of the cover in the comments. The artist is Anna C. Pishko.
Always Keep Fighting
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