A Moment of Weakness

How I Wanted to Quit Blogging– For a Moment

I have been overwhelmed lately. Graduate school, my work in freelance, and of course my writing has stretched me thin. My issues with a rapid cycling mixed episode and my social anxiety are making each day a challenge.

Anyone that follows my writing here on my blog knows that this place has been so amazing in my life. I have never shared more of my experiences here than anywhere else on the posts of this blog (the small exception is my memoir.) I could not imagine walking away, but sometimes I feel there is nothing left for me to say. In the past two weeks, there has been a feeling of distance between my writing here on my blog.

It could be the time of year. I always tend to struggle to find my focus during the colder winter months. The recent time change has allowed me to be more productive and I see that my mental health is improving, which is everything. It is a small sample size, but I am always better when the weather is much better.

I felt terrible because I love writing my blog, but with everything going on, I can’t help but feel overwhelmed and that something has to give because I am heading towards being overwhelmed. It was my own fault when I had last week off I decided to nothing but write. The days I took off were because I had no choice–mixed episode and all.

What is Next?

Drowning. That is how I feel right now. It is crazy because I am always thinking in my head, what is the next thing for me? I thought I had the answer, but the truth is I might have jumped the gun.

I was talking to a fellow mental health blogger and writer about Patreon. It sounded like the perfect next step. You come up with tiers that people can subscribe to, and you offer fantastic perks. It would be perfect. I could write full-time and quit freelance writing (which has been really difficult lately, there are just not enough hours in the day.) I might have been fooling myself. I am not ready for such a thing.

I am back to the drawing board on so many levels. One positive thing is that I am done with my memoir. I need to save enough to have an editor go over every inch, but The Bipolar Writer: A Memoir is ready. I hope to self-publish in May (I will do some querying in April, but it looks like self-publishing is the right thing for the memoir. (BTW: I am calling my followers Skye-Walkers… what do you think?)

With that, I wanted to show a concept of my cover. Let me know what you think of the cover in the comments. The artist is Anna C. Pishko.

Always Keep Fighting

James

My Patreon Account:

https://www.patreon.com/JamesEdgarSkye

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16 Replies to “A Moment of Weakness”

  1. It sounds like you really have a lot of irons in the fire, as the saying goes. I definitely know the feeling of being overwhelmed and not knowing which way to turn. I also understand the passion you have for writing. Blogging has been one of the best decision I have ever made, personally. In whatever you do, I pray that God gives you peace and helps you through it. I always enjoy these blogs you and the others post here. I wish you well with your book as well. I hope it all works out for you!

  2. I’ve been considering giving up as well, but it seems impossible for so
    Wine who loves writing to just give up. Blogging has been a great experience. I really like your cover. It says a lot. You’re going to do great! Keep up the excellent blogs.

    1. Have to agree – don’t give up writing on your blog. Maybe just fewer posts. I get so much encouragement from your writing. Thanks for giving so much to your readers, but remember that self care is important.

      1. I will continue to write. Like I said. A moment of weakness really. I love to write. It will be less as I work on making this writing this real.

  3. As someone who did essentially give up their blog in favour of freelance stuff, I have a slightly different perspective than some of the others I’ve read, which is: do whatever is right for you. I needed to give up my blog and focus on freelance because I needed to reserve whatever energy I could for caring for my Mum. Fistful of Glitter was just one too many pressures, and at the time, it was the one I got the least reward from. For me, it came down to the fact that FoG didn’t pay, and my freelance stuff did and financial stress is a HUGE trigger for me.

    What I would suggest if you can, is trying to work out what is most important to you at the moment and why, and work backwards from there. What helps your mental health the most right now? Is it cutting back on freelance stuff to have more energy for the blog? Patreon is probably a good solution then. Is it cutting back, or even stopping the blog posts for a while? There is no reason you can’t come back to it (just as I am doing now) and it’s okay to need a long-term break every once in a while. You need to prioritise what is best for you, not anyone else (readers of the blog, patreon follows, freelance editors ect.) because ultimately you are the most important one to look after here.

    For whatever it’s worth, I don’t regret the time I wasn’t writing Fistful of Glitter. I was doing the best I could with a lot on my plate, and I’m really proud of what I achieved, even though not many people saw it. You have done AMAZINGLY, and it is absolutely fine to need a break from trying to manage everything at once, so let me say once again, regarless of what you decide, do what is best for you.

  4. How fantastic that you’ve completed your memoir and are getting ready to publish! I’ve been doing quite a bit of research, and self-publishing does really seem like the way to go, especially when you have as many people interested in your writing as you do. Please let me know if I can help. Maybe we could exchange chapters.

  5. Lots of individuals are going through this same season with blogging 🌸 You are not alone, this too will change. Time has a way of working everything out exactly as it’s meant to be. Be gentle with yourself. You have so much readers need you to write.

  6. I like the black and white stripes, my son suffers from bipolar and to me they represent a jail, which would depict that sufferers feel licked in or controlled by their disorder. The red mask, my opinion, what if one side was frowning another smiling to represent the two sides of the disorder. I like it, it is stark and to me is a good concept.

  7. Self publishing is a good idea. I had self published a memoir on amazon kindle a few years ago when i knew nothing about it (don’t really know too much now either) and it didn’t do too badly. Since you do write a blog you can share information about it there and it will work to promote it. However, your cover, i don’t really like it very much, it is a bit scary. The stripes part is fine but the face could be more cheerful like the other end of the spectrum maybe. And do continue to blog, i am very new to this and i like reading what you write.

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