Finally! A Change in Medicaiton

A Start of a New Journey

My most chronicled mental illness struggle that has been featured on this blog is my ongoing struggles with social anxiety and the all-important medication in my life–Ativan.

First, a little history. I have been taking Ativan since on and off since 2007. Yes, that is a lot of years. It was not always so, and for times throughout my life my anxiety was anxiety free, and the need for anxiety medication was non-existent (I think for 2011 I was off the stuff for a time.) But, as is all things in my life, my anxiety came back strong, and since 2012 it has been a regular part of my life.

My struggles with social anxiety and panic attacks as a social factor really came into fruition around 2016 when I had what I consider the worst panic attack of my life. Since then I have seen my Ativan intake steady increase at a very rapid pace. In 2016, I was taking 1mg three times a day. As of Monday, March 25, 2019, I was on a dose of 4mg a day spread throughout my day.

What sucks about the long-term use of Ativan is that it becomes less and less effective. At this point in my life it was not really helping and to be honest it was something that I wanted to change.

Enter the newest psychiatrist in the long line of the turnover over since 2012 (you can find my blog post on the “Revolving Door of Psychiatrists” on my blog.) My new doctor came up with a new solution, a change to clonazepam. The hope is that the extend shelf-life of eight hours, along with a dosage of 1mg three times a day will help me find some balance in my social anxiety and panic attacks.

I am hopeful because for the last year I have been lobbying for this change. It would be great to get my social anxiety under control with medication so that I can find some balance. If it is all that it is cracked up to be, I can restart regular therapy visits (every two weeks) and begin to refocus my Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

I am going into this with positivity because I am tired of being controlled by my social anxiety. Who knows what the future holds. This is only day one (I am writing this on Tuesday, I am not sure when it will be posted) but I will continue to update. I want to write most posts. I have to get back to where I was before on this blog.

For now clonazepam is the present and future.

Always Keep Fighting


16 Replies to “Finally! A Change in Medicaiton”

  1. I really hope you get some relief! I saw my psychiatrist today, he is a bit of a weirdo lol, but I enjoy him. I even livestreamed about him today on YouTube lol

    I am glad I haven’t had a revolving door of psychiatrists. I hope I don’t end up having to go through that. Having aspergers makes it even harder for me to deal with that kind of change.


    1. It can be the worst. The last year I have hanged three times. It makes getting medication changes impossible at times because they want to get to know you.


  2. Here’s hoping it’s effective. Yes once dark thoughts or suicide attempts are on your medical record it’s harder to get the drugs you need; which is mad in a way. Being on multiple medications myself for chronic pain and depression I know how important getting your medication right is. Thinking of you.


  3. I know how important it is to find the right med combo. I have taken many meds over the years and some work better than others. Some seem to work for a while but eventually have to be replaced with something else. Such is the life, I guess. I pray that this med change will be good for you and just what you need. Keep on fighting, man.


  4. That’s great that you have a doctor that listens to you. I have had my struggles with different medications too. Let’s hope this balances you out a bit. Will look forward to hearing more about it. 💗


  5. Good luck with that med change. I know full well about the ups and downs of pharmaceuticals. I’ve been doing this dance since the early 90s. It sucks. Same with the psychiatrists, though I go through the VA and am pretty much forced to take who I am given. I like my current psychiatrist, so that’s good. I also started recently on a new med, which IS working, by the way, so keep the faith.


  6. I take Clonazepam, it’s mixed in with other things but it does work for anxiety. I have been taking it before bed and I feel more rested in the AM (for the first time ever) and it gives it time to settle into your bloodstream so helps with the morning dreads if those are a problem


  7. I don’t know what your dose it but you could split it up–morning and night if your doc gives you the go ahead. Glad it is helping.


  8. I understand the struggle with Ativan, the more you take the less effective it becomes. My current psychiatrist compared the effects of Ativan to the effects of alcoholism. Both are addictive and both cause you to take, or drink, more and more just to feel it’s effect again and eventually both will cause your brain to rely on them. Hearing it that way sort of opened my eyes and we are now starting to slowly wean me off of them and finding a new mixture of medications that will help with my GAD and depression in a “healthier” way. Good luck to you!


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