Wow. I never thought that these words would ever come out of my mouth. Since a bad psych ward experience with group therapy, I have been anti-group since then.
I have to grow. I can’t keep going down this path of constant social anxiety if I want to truly fight. I was always about one on one therapy. I have been asked so many times to lead group because of how strong I am now. But I was reluctant because one time I had a bad experience, but I have to look at the situation.
My only group therapy experience was in the psychiatric ward back in 2007. I had just tried to commit suicide. It was not the first time, but it was the first that landed me in the hospital. I wanted to be anywhere but in the ward and deep down at the time in my mind there was nothing wrong with me.
Then you put me in a room with people, who I did not like at the time but are now my people, and my propensity to always be angry when forced to talk about what brought me to the ward spelled disaster.
I swore at that moment that I would never do group therapy again. In this mental illness life, that is the only thing that has not gotten better. I was reluctant to start therapy and that changed my life.
Things have to change. Good or bad, next week when I talk to my therapist I am going to discuss group therapy. You have to start somewhere.
Always Keep Fighting
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