Yesterday I turned 26 years old. I had an absolutely wonderful day spent with my family and my boyfriend. There was nothing lavish or anything but it was time well spent and I felt appreciated by everyone.
One of my love languages is quality time so getting to spend time with the people I’m closest with was awesome.
It is amazing how a few years can change your perspective about life.
I remember when I turned 24 I reflected upon how I was celebrating my birthday while I struggled each day to live. This happened towards the end of my 7-month severe depressive episode, I had no idea that my suicidal thoughts were going to soon be quiet.
I thought to myself, “This is so odd. How can I celebrate my life when all I want to do is die?”
Soon after April 13, 2017, I found the right antidepressants and was finally able to attend therapy only once a week instead of twice. I got a new job plus a side gig that cut my stress level by over half.
I fell in love when I thought I never would again.
Later that year I got to see the most beautiful sunset ever in Las Vegas and go to the desert in California (two places I had never been before).
Right now my mental health is doing pretty well so in this reflection, I am glad that I didn’t kill myself. I’m glad that there was a light at the end of a very long, dark tunnel.
If you’re struggling with suicidal thoughts, I hope that this post gives you perspective. In the moment you think that life will never get better. But it does.