To my younger self

To my younger self,

I know that things seem hard right now, but you will get through it. I do not doubt your ability. Look at six months ago when you had to call and text him until he answered you or came home. You made it through those days yes they were rough but you made it throught those days. I think back to when we were 6 and everything seemed like it couldn’t get any worse than being raped by our step father. Then came the bullying and the harrasment from our fellow students. There was the worst of it the bullying and being raped. There nothing that could have made us think anything different than we were to blame. Now we know that isn’t the case. We weren’t the ones to blame for that. that was his sick and twisted thought process. He shouldn’t have done that.

That’s when we started to withdraw from family and school events unless there were a lot of people there. No one knew what was going on because we didn’t talk because he had threatened us. Now we have a guy that has sworn to protect us at every turn. I just want you to think back to before all that happened to when we were 4. our parents always fighting no one to protect us there. We had to protect robert who was only a baby. We had to get him out of the way of their anger. things weren’t great but at least we could handle that. the bullying was a sign of the weakness in other people i just want you to remember that.

Now go back to when we told mom about what had happened to us. She was devestated by the facts. KLittle did anyone know that it would come back to haunt you. yes our first step father had stalked us. Now what do we do we act as if everything is okay. We don’t tell anyone for fear that they would get hurt next. No matter what people had told you about stalkers just because they got caught stalking you doesn’t mean that they would stop. Things are different these days. Now we are protected from anyone who would want to hurt us.

until next time,

Bri Bear 22

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