When You Lose the Love to Blog

I wanted to preface this with I love this blog. Since September 2017 this blog has been my lifeblood. I have spent so many hours building something great so that one day if needed, it could run on its own.

I wanted a place that was safe for other mental health bloggers to write. I think I have achieved that here on The Bipolar Writer blog. Recently, I have started to fall out of love writing on my blog. It is not that I don’t want to write, I feel as if I have not much to say anymore as I transition into fictional writing. My mental illness/mental health life is just not interesting to the masses anymore.

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Between my memoir and the blog I always felt as if there is still something to write on my mental health. Now that my memoir will be published which along with this blog has been my life since September 2017. I feel so drained the last week as if I could not write another word about my mental illness life.

It really felt as if I had fell out of love with writing. There is so much going on, and I knew that being a graduate student I would have to write less here (I used to write daily, and I am down to one or two posts every few weeks.) I have sat here on WordPress staring at the blank screen not knowing what to write about in my life. I feel so bad that I am not here talking about the ups and downs of this life because that is always how it has been.

This is shaping out to be the busiest that I have been in a long time. I want to share every triumph like just a week ago going on an actual job interview, something that I have not done in so long. I am always doing freelance writing work, but that is a different thing entirely. It went well but I was so busy after that I was unable to share the good news. I didn’t get the job, but it was because of the schedule along with my school schedule was impossible.

April was a great month. I found someone to come up with a fantastic concept for the logo for my The Bipolar Writer brand. This logo is going to help me launch some fantastic things in 2019.

I am finally going to be publishing my memoir. The blood, sweat, and tears to get it done with the million edits will finally become pay off. I wanted to share all these amazing things and yet when it came to writing a blog about my luck all I got was my blank page (I did talk about my Patreon, which I am oft to do lately, but I felt like couldn’t brag about the amazing things happening in my life.

It has been a tough semester, but that is not an excuse that I feel should be used. I will be working towards writing more informative blog posts from here on out. It might only be weekly, but I can’t walk away from all this. I hope my fellow contributors and followers will understand. Stay strong in the fight.

Always Keep Fighting

James

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11 Replies to “When You Lose the Love to Blog”

  1. For myself, I feel like every time I am in a good direction and things start to gel mental exhaustion sets in and that’s when doubt, fear and anxiety start to take over. They corrode my ambition and dreams and I am still learning how to get over that mental hump. Keep going James. You’re doing such great work and I appreciate all of your sacrifice and hard work.

  2. Ahhhhh. It surprises me that you are just now experiencing this, this far along in your blogging career. I felt the immense pressure of this around month 10. What it boils down too, and appears to be, is the posts that expose pain, get the most traffic, therefore when we are happy and those posts don’t seem to do as well it seems as though we begin to feel guilty for achieving something. We do not share it out of fear that someone may think we are bragging or someone else may have a terrible day and we don’t want to push them over with our newfound excitement. The impact of this true to me scenario prompted me to begin a new blog only to scratch that and really focus on ROE. Because we have lived in such dismay most of our lives, it is a true struggle to accept success because we do not feel worthy or even as though we do not deserve it. Here’s the thing though people love to see growth in others because it gives us hope. What you are experiencing is common among most of us with mental illness. Allow yourself to be ok with triumph. You don’t always have to write about mental illness. Show different sides of your personality. You are more than your mental illness and if you want to step back, do so. Running a blog isn’t about one faucet of our character rather all of the pieces that come together to make us-us. Plus always writing about mental illness can be depressing in and of itself. Just be you, James, and those who are engaged will be here regardless.

  3. Thank you for sharing such honest and inspiring words. As a young person with mental illness, wanting to become a writer, it’s people like you that inspire me to continue to reach my goals when I feel like I’m at my lowest. I sincerely thank you, and wish you all the best. 🙂

  4. Congratulations on your book, James! It’s nice to read that you are doing fairly well and taking some interesting steps forward.

    I know how you feel. I think my last blog post was in March, and like you, I used to post in my blog almost every day for almost two of my years here. I was thinking about what happened, in my case. First, I changed the focus of my blog from bipolar/mental illness to dieting and cooking. That was nice for a bit, but then I fell of the diet wagon and was sad that old followers left, and the new followers were ones I almost regretted having. I know that sounds horrible. Second, I felt the need to become much more private about my life/thoughts. General article ideas dried up, as did creative ideas. There were too many people who know me in real life reading my blog. I wish I had more anonymity here. I guess I could create a whole new blog, but I don’t have it in me.

    1. Creating a new blog is out of the question for me as well. There are just not enough hours in the day. Thanks for sharing your own experiences I am glad it a way to know it’s not a major thing.

  5. Blogging is very demanding. I haven’t updated my own blog for ages. I think it’s important to stay in the game even if only updating sometimes. We pressure ourselves to update constantly but sometimes that’s not possible or even beneficial.

  6. I have felt myself falling out of love with writing as I have started drowning under the waves of a more than full time job, full time graduate studies, and the every day wear and tear of life. I haven’t posted in months and I am nearing my one-year mark with less than 1000 views. It has been a long haul. I want to get back to my blog but there is so much. I will keep writing and keep trying. There is never another way.

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