As I’ve been following this collaborative mental health blog for a while, I’ve been noticing the wide range of experience everyone brings. More than anything, it brings me so much hope whenever I see a blogger writing about their journey of fighting against the mental health battle for a long period.
Every time I saw someone saying, “It’s my xyz anniversary of my diagnoses”, I wondered how I would feel when my first anniversary comes with my diagnoses. July 5th, 2018 – that was when my life changed forever. Receiving the unexpected diagnoses of OCD and depression, my prospective on life changed drastically.
Looking back, I always displayed the symptoms of OCD as a child. It was just the matter of time for my disorders to “explode” in order to catch my attention.
Since then, I conditioned myself to pair summer with my disorders. Every time I hear summer, I flinch. I immediately think of the days when I was sad for days without joy.
As summer of 2019 is getting closer, I’m scared. I can’t help but to think summer is a time of suffering and sadness.
Nevertheless – I stand firm to remind myself that I will be okay. How do I know that? Because I am definitely not the same person that I was last summer.
I see the hidden value of life that I use never saw. Life is so much more than having worldly success. It is about enjoying each moment that I am here on this earth.
Now, I know what it means to find joy in the smallest things. Every small joy is a victory, and nothing can rob my victories other than my negative thoughts.
I was pushed to my limit and I now I know that I am strong enough to not get pushed over. The hard times only made me stronger, and I will not fall.
It is truly my hope – in how many years I have on this earth – that I will be able to stand and say, “It is my xyz anniversary of my diagnoses”, and boldly share my journey.
“You will be okay, just like I was”.