today I sit wondering where my days have gone. I have been at home a lot more lately. so I have the time to think about what goes on in my head. now yes I have been doing things with my family but at the same time, I have been wondering what I need to do before I just uproot everything I have ever known. my life has always been surrounding grand rapids. so naturally I am afraid of moving to northern Michigan. I struggle with knowing how things are going to impact me. I feel helpless most of the time. at the same time i also feel hopeless.
no one quite gets what it’s like to feel the way I do every day. so no matter what I do that world gets me down into a funk that I just can’t get out of on my own. so I ask for help in the weirdest of ways. I ask in ways that aren’t conventional. I throw fits or stop and stare off into space. so being me is like being on a roller coaster that has no end and no beginning. so things have just been on this roller coaster forever. I can’t quite seem to make it slow down enough to get off and think clearly for even a moment.
i need to be able to stop and think clearly and give myself a break because if i don’t then who will. with love to you all i’m bri bear and i’m signing off.Become a Patron!