My double sidedness

I originally started my blog – Haelim’s Couch with an intention to be vulnerable and raw with my audience.

Don’t get me wrong, I still am. I share openly about my mental health, and faith as it is a big part of my life.

However, is it selfish of me to wanting to start another blog anonymously – just so I can use it as a space to vent?

I’ve been noticing lately (especially after stop seeing my therapist) that I feel a strong urge to scream into an empty space. I have great friends and have a great relationship with my family members. Nevertheless, there are things in life that I just don’t think it’s either the right time for me to share or just would make my friends and family worry if I do.

As I was driving back home today, I had such a strong urge to go instantly create a new blog anonymously so that I can use it to share whatever I need to get off my chest without worrying about “scaring” anyone away.

Now, before you say the people that get “scared” away by the things I share doesn’t matter whether they’re in my life or not, hear me out.

I’m about to start graduate school training to become a social worker this fall. I am in no means trying to be “fake” and pretend that I have everything all together. However, I feel the need to have a sense of calmness without having to share any “dark” thoughts that I sometimes just need to.

Fellow bloggers, what are your thoughts? Am I being selfish?

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11 Replies to “My double sidedness”

  1. Being “selfish” is not always a negative thing. Much of the self-care we need to do to take care of ourselves is selfish. Boundary setting can be selfish.

    I find myself journaling often when feeling excess stress. I am not much of an air my stuff out there for other people, except a few close people that wont allow me to complain too much. I hope you find your ways of processing the powerful energies inside.

    They help us solve problems and prepare us to handle what is coming next in our lives. Befriend them, treat them with respect, but don’t let them rule.

    Take Care!

  2. Oh how I can relate. Wanting to start a blog or other social media anonymously. Sometimes we need to vent and just clear the brain…however some people throw up a red flag , call the national
    guard and get the straight jackets ready.
    Folks , sometimes screaming is all we can do to keep from going off the deep end. Let the screaming begin!
    🤪😤😱🤬

  3. I think we all need a screaming space. The paper journal might be safer to avoid ANY association with real life, to not get something overly depressing blocked by WP, and to still have your space when we have a technological apocalypse.

  4. People have used private journals forever for this purpose. It’s totally okay and not selfish to keep your thoughts private. You can hand write it or use a blog, whatever works. 🙂 P.S. Christian Texan here. High five!

  5. Do it. My blog is anonymous because I absolutely need a space to say, “Oh my gosh, this is crazy! Does anyone else think this is crazy? IT’S CRAZY!!!” If someone reaches out and responds, yay. If someone reads the post, yay. If no one does, okay. But at least I got it off my chest and I can keep moving forward.

    Having an anonymous blog also helps me keep track of things so I can talk to my therapist about it later. When my anxiety or depression is bad I lose some time and things get muddled in my head. Being able to blog about it keeps things in a timeline so I can communicate better. I do have a personal journal I write in but a lot of that writing is reflected in my blog. Sometimes it’s easier to blog it because my brain is going so fast, and I can type much faster than I can write.

    Go for it.

  6. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that idea. Sometimes you just need a space where you can let your hair down and not think about it the thought right or wrong.

  7. I think its a great idea! I have thought about it just because there are somethings you want to vent but a place like this is about healing. If you ever need a sounding board I have my number on my blog. Many people contact me through it just to vent. I like that part of being an advocate.

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