Growing Confidence

Over the years I have found myself pushed to the back burner by other people. This normally happened when I was interested in a female person. My high school sweetheart, my basic training love interest, my best friend that I fell in love with (even though she was taken). For the longest time I thought that I wasn’t good enough and that’s why I was never their first choice.

But a couple weeks ago something happened and I finally realized that I have worth. I had reconnected with the basic training love interest. I visited, had an awesome time, and expressed that I was interested in trying to build a relationship. They said the same thing. Yet when I got home that didn’t seem to be the case. They wanted time to heal from their relationship that had ended a while ago. Which I could understand… had they not been swiping on dating apps! It was then that something sort of just snapped! I said to this person “I am a motherfucking catch! I’ve got my own home, I’ve got a job, I have goals and I’m earning my degree, and I have kept my kids alive for quite some time.” Then I told them they were to scared to seize the moment and go for what was right in front of them.

So I stepped away from it.

Then I stepped away from the best friend.

Then I told a woman I had been talking to off when she made a comment about wasting her time talking to me if I wasn’t going to facetime. She had never directly asked me to facetime, just made a round about comment. After I told her off she apologized and told me she found it sexy that I was willing to put her in her place. So… now I’m dating someone. Someone who isn’t going to be offended, or pissy, or use what I think or feel against me.

I might not be perfect. I might have mental health issues. But I am still an amazing fucking person! An it’s time I started to see it, believe it, and act like it.

So if you find yourself pushed to the back burner, if you are the side chick/dude, or if they only make time for you when they need you; work on walking away from them. You deserve people who make you a first choice.

Due to recent events, not mentioned here, I had to make my personal page private. I would love if you want to follow me. So comment here or go to my page to request and invite!

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2 Replies to “Growing Confidence”

  1. Amanda, what an inspiration you are! Thank you so much, your words rang so many bells in my own life, I need to focus on number 1 and remind myself that actually, I am awesome!
    Muchas grazias Señora! Luna Xx

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