Wow, 3 posts in one day, Alan, what the heck are you on? And where can I get some?
No but seriously, I have stated that I am 99.9% cured of my mental illnesses thanks to ECT treatment. However, something I don’t often see with mental health blogs is the backslide. A backslide? What’s that Alan?
Well, in simplistic terms a backslide is when your habits and thought processes of the depressed you resurface. I am going through one right now, granted…I am drinking…again. However, alchohol for me doesn’t have a negative effect on my mental health, I mean I don’t think it does…but what do I know, I’m a recovering (not anymore) alchoholic.
My mother and I got into a rather small argument today, well, at least she thinks it is small. We fought about going to my dad’s house (our old house that he won in the divorce) to pick up the storage we had left in the garage. Now, to me, all of it could be thrown out. I don’t hold sentimental value in things, because at the end of the day, it’s just stuff. Stuff, is always replaceable, dispite who it came from. My mother holds an extremely strong attachment to the stuff from her mother. I mean, I can see why, I love my mother more than life itself. The part I have a problem with though, is that she values this stuff, from people who have passed, more than the people who are still here.
I digress, back to the point here…how to beat your backslide. Many may view my drinking as the cause of the backslide. Or at least adding fuel to it. I view it as the only way that I can calm everything going through my head. My brain is usually a mass of thoughts, coming and going from every direction, for everything. For example, a glimpse into my mind:
There are starving children all over the world
The girl you like has a boyfriend
The pen you used to use, is it still in your car?
Garbage and recycling is tonight
Someone dies every 9 seconds or something
When was the last time you showered?
Did you change your clothes today?
Did you accomplish anything today?
As you can see, none of them are positive thoughts, that is how I know I am backsliding. The drinking helps at least put all those thoughts into a single file line, so they attack me one at a time.
Now I’m not saying that you should go out and get blitzed. But what I am saying, is that you should continue to push forward, retrain your brain, and go out and live your best life. Separate yourself from the negative in your life, even if that means moving across the country.
What I am saying is, do whatever you have to do to kick your mental illness’s ass. Alan Wolfgang, signing off
Be sure to check out my blog Out of My Mind