My psychiatrist put in her two weeks notice. It is a difficult pill to swallow, knowing that I have to find yet another doctor. I don’t feel this way with any other type of physician. I am not sure how to articulate that I don’t trust another doctor not to second guess the work that was being done by myself with my current provider.
I feel like any time I have had to change psychiatrists there has been the question of which bipolar I have….does that matter? Mental health is the only time I have ever wished that someone would just treat my symptoms instead of trying to pinpoint the exact disease. Then there is the question, “why do you think you have bipolar?” or “how did you determine that it is bipolar?”. I didn’t. A health care professional did. I always feel like I am being questioned, like I did something wrong. I did not choose this. I just want to keep under a treatment that has been working for me.
I feel like a science experiment with all the med changes. I know it isn’t an exact science, but it is one of the most painful things I have experienced emotionally. I don’t want to be in the middle of a pissing contest between providers and someone being right. But there is no winner here. Why question something that is clearly working?
Pray for me. I am not sure I can take another round of medication roulette.