Another sleepless night

so I am having another sleepless night. none of the nights this week have been been sleepless. but it is only Monday. I’ve had sleepless nights before and they haven’t really been this bad. I’m not this person that is just having a hard time, but at the same time I am having a hard time. I’m not sure what to do. now it is only 10 pm on a Monday but usually I am falling asleep right now. I feel like i’m on an upward spiral and it’s getting out of control. i have been on antidepressants since last year around this time. I get the fact that I am bipolar and really should be on something like lithium, but my medications nurse/prescriber. nothing has been this bad since i was in high school. i couldn’t sleep on Friday that well either.

I’m not the kind of girl that will just get people to feel bad for her. although my fiance and his family do care for me and feel bad when i’m doing bad because they don’t really know how to help. i couldn’t get through the fact that i’m having another sleepless night. i’m not sure what i’m going to do. i’m no longer happy with how i am as a person. i feel like i may have DID because i do feel other alters/ personalities with in myself i’m not sure what to do. i’m going to go to my primary care provider tomorrow to get a recommendation to a psychiatrist and hopefully a new therapist. i don’t get why mine won’t really help me. I have been thinking this through since I made the appointment. yes i made it for tomorrow at 2 but they moved it up to 1:45 pm. i’m really struggling to get my head around the fact that I’ve been struggling to not cut, burn, snap a rubber band on my wrist or ankles because I’m feeling very much out of control.

I don’t know what to do you guys i really need some help tonight and would love it if you guys could give me some advice on how to get through the night into the morning and before my appointment tomorrow. thank you for taking the time to read this.


6 Replies to “Another sleepless night”

  1. Hi Bri, I suffer from insomnia as well and I wish I had a solution. Even though I am not bipolar, its still a struggle and can wreck havoc on the entire week. Sleep when you’re tired. There’s no point staying in bed if you’ll be counting sheep all night long. Even if it means reading a book or something – at least it’s a productive use of time when insomnia strikes!

  2. Insomnia is a tough one. As well as being a symptom of depression etc it’s also an increasing problem in society with our anxious, switched on, over-caffeinated lifestyles and too much screen time. I agree with what has been said above but coffee and alcohol are the worst offenders although I’m not suggesting you indulge in either! Camomile tea and no phone checking after 9pm helps me. Insomnia makes you feel like you are alone in the whole world. But if you look out the window you will see other lights on too.

  3. Aww hun I can relate and I feel for you. Insomnia can come on for many reasons, like hormones or internal clock settings or even just age….but no matter the cause, it still doesn’t help us to deal with the sleeplessness. So, as much as it may suck tomorrow as you walk through the day as an exhausted zombie, sometimes you need to just roll with the insomnia. Just embrace/accept it in the moment and just take it as it comes…one minute at a time. Take care of yourself! Good luck at the doc.

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