Another sleepless night

so I am having another sleepless night. none of the nights this week have been been sleepless. but it is only Monday. I’ve had sleepless nights before and they haven’t really been this bad. I’m not this person that is just having a hard time, but at the same time I am having a hard time. I’m not sure what to do. now it is only 10 pm on a Monday but usually I am falling asleep right now. I feel like i’m on an upward spiral and it’s getting out of control. i have been on antidepressants since last year around this time. I get the fact that I am bipolar and really should be on something like lithium, but my medications nurse/prescriber. nothing has been this bad since i was in high school. i couldn’t sleep on Friday that well either.

I’m not the kind of girl that will just get people to feel bad for her. although my fiance and his family do care for me and feel bad when i’m doing bad because they don’t really know how to help. i couldn’t get through the fact that i’m having another sleepless night. i’m not sure what i’m going to do. i’m no longer happy with how i am as a person. i feel like i may have DID because i do feel other alters/ personalities with in myself i’m not sure what to do. i’m going to go to my primary care provider tomorrow to get a recommendation to a psychiatrist and hopefully a new therapist. i don’t get why mine won’t really help me. I have been thinking this through since I made the appointment. yes i made it for tomorrow at 2 but they moved it up to 1:45 pm. i’m really struggling to get my head around the fact that I’ve been struggling to not cut, burn, snap a rubber band on my wrist or ankles because I’m feeling very much out of control.

I don’t know what to do you guys i really need some help tonight and would love it if you guys could give me some advice on how to get through the night into the morning and before my appointment tomorrow. thank you for taking the time to read this.

9 Replies to “Another sleepless night”

  1. Hi Bri, I suffer from insomnia as well and I wish I had a solution. Even though I am not bipolar, its still a struggle and can wreck havoc on the entire week. Sleep when you’re tired. There’s no point staying in bed if you’ll be counting sheep all night long. Even if it means reading a book or something – at least it’s a productive use of time when insomnia strikes!


  2. So rule 1 is get out of bed so you don’t connect the bed to not sleeping. Then the following apply: oxygen, exercise, fluids, orgasms. In other words, drink some water, stretch a little, open a window, take in as much air as you can. How you handle the last one is up to you.

    If you think all of this is Bipolar related, we can talk about DBT sometime.


  3. Hi Bri, I have Bipolar and understand completely the sleepless nights. It normally means you are heading towards a bipolar high or mania. You really need to get on top of it before it gets out of hand. Ask your doctor about an antipsychotic medication called zyprexa. It is my go to emergency medication which knocks me out at night and ensures a good night sleep. I have been told it’s the most powerful mood stabiliser. I take that plus a sleeping tablet and it rebalances my mood, only taking a couple of days as well. I know we are all different and on different medications but I really believe the value in this medication. It has saved me so many times over the last ten years from going into mania and helping me out of depression. I call it my miracle medication.


  4. Insomnia is a tough one. As well as being a symptom of depression etc it’s also an increasing problem in society with our anxious, switched on, over-caffeinated lifestyles and too much screen time. I agree with what has been said above but coffee and alcohol are the worst offenders although I’m not suggesting you indulge in either! Camomile tea and no phone checking after 9pm helps me. Insomnia makes you feel like you are alone in the whole world. But if you look out the window you will see other lights on too.


    1. Thank you. I wrote this in a manic mindset thinking it would wear me down.


  5. It is such a difficult journey. I am so sorry about your current struggles. Insomnia is a tough one. Keep pressing forward. My depression and PTSD continues to push me down, trying to suffocate me, but each small step I take to manage it is a positive. Some days I feel like I’m losing the battle. For me, keeping at the therapy, reaching out to people who care (even just a few words in a text) and continuing to seek the right medication have helped me manage the depression (some days better than others). I also know that courses NAMI offers for caretakers of people with mental illness has helped to give them strategies on how to help. I pray you will have a sense of peace as you go to therapy; that you will be encouraged.


  6. Aww hun I can relate and I feel for you. Insomnia can come on for many reasons, like hormones or internal clock settings or even just age….but no matter the cause, it still doesn’t help us to deal with the sleeplessness. So, as much as it may suck tomorrow as you walk through the day as an exhausted zombie, sometimes you need to just roll with the insomnia. Just embrace/accept it in the moment and just take it as it comes…one minute at a time. Take care of yourself! Good luck at the doc.

    Liked by 1 person

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