12/5/19

When everything goes to hell you just feel like everything is going to feel like the foes of hell or burning you from the inside out. I feel so helpless right now. I feel like he just want to cover his ass so he doing a all that by his mom. I hate that I feel like this period I know that he loves me and cares about me. I feel like all the useless loser. I’m feeling so shitty that no matter what I do it it goes into my work.

I’m not what I used to be. I will not happy with who I am. I’m not happy in my life. On that happy with my schooling achievements. Some days I Feel like dying and others I just feel like cutting again. I’m not sure what to do with my life. I want to be a psychologist I’m not sure if that’s the path I would want to take. There’s nothing stopping me but me.

I’m nothing but a pathetic waste of space. I’m not worth land rage at work. I’m not worth full time and for my. And worth nothing when. There is no reason for me to keep working. There’s no point in going to school. I’m just going to end up my like my mother. I’m going to end up with nothing. Everyone dies. No one lives forever. I’m just a worthless piece of ship. So why live? What is a what good is it to be alive? There is no good if always if it’s always bed luck. That’s all I get. I don’t get lucky.

I don’t feel as if I deserve a life worth living. I’m a shitty person. What good do.i bring this world? Someone please help me.

11 Replies to “12/5/19”

  1. I’m not qualified as a professional to help you. But I’m qualified as a human being to see your story and tell you it breaks my heart. You are worth it, you were born into this world and therefore you are part of it – maybe you can’t see what your purpose is right now – but imagine if someone came to you – with all this pain in their heart and you were able to understand A because you had been there. Wouldn’t that be great? Be kind to yourself – we all have days when we feel lost and unworthy and in those times we have to try and help others. If you can be kind to every person you meet – you will change lives – so few people have that happen all day, all week, all year. And that’s really sad. So just be relentlessly kind – to everyone – and you are changing lives and in doing so – changing the world. I hope you begin to feel better soon. Sending you some love 💕

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  2. Sweetie I am so sorry you are hurting. I have been there many many times. I am not a therapist but I can be your friend. If you feel like it, you can text me 817-714-6585
    ❤️ Adrienne

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  3. Hi Bri, your words are so sad. Please reach out to someone for support. We have all been extremely depressed and very very down. You might not think things can get better, but trust me there is light at the end of the tunnel. You need someone to lean on at the moment, even just to hold your hand and listen and to be supportive. Many years ago I wanted to throw in the towel after suffering severe depression on numerous periods, the worst was a 12 month Period before one day I woke up feeling normal. That was after being on antidepressants. The day I felt normal, where the heavy fog had lifted, I cried tears of joy….. now I appreciate every sunrise and sunset….just knowing how lucky I am that I am still hear.
    I am an online friend of your previous comment by Adrienne so please reach out to her or myself…we are both genuinely concerned for your welfare. My email is Melissa.tinker@live.com.au xxxx

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  4. Perhaps you are just venting in a weak moment..maybe it’s a strong call for help. No one on here is qualified to help you. Reach out to the Drs that you know could help you. You are worth the effort. Best, S.

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  5. Hi Bri, your words were touching to me as I so often think the same things of myself. I too am in school to be a psychologist and struggle with mental health issues. My mantra of keeping myself moving forward most days is if I’m on the crazy side then I’ll help the other crazies. I’m still in school and feel that I need to add that I’m not a professional but as someone else mentioned…we’re all qualified as human beings. Find something on the bright side and stare at it until you’re good 😀

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  6. Hey love, I just want to remind you that the way you feel may not necessary be the way you are. I know this was posted a day ago, so maybe things have changed, but at the time you wrote this, you were overwhelmed by a surplus of emotions and crushed by their weight. I understand that completely. However, that does not mean you are what the voice in your head is telling you. You are much more than what you tell yourself you are. And most importantly, you are strong. Writing about how you feel, posting it, reaching out.. these are all characteristics of strong individuals who recognize their pain. That is one solution to tackle it. Feel free to contact me at any time, love. If not, seek professional help. I can guarantee they can be very beneficial (: as always, keep your health in mind!

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    1. Thank you for these kind words. I have been struggling for awhile.with these feelings and need a check in on me kinda day.

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  7. I feel the same and when u said about the mother thing it really hit hard.. I been told all my life by all my family members “you’re gonna end up like your mother” and it hurts so bad knowing that even your family members think that… drugs took over my mom when I was growing up so my grandparents raised me and my sister and of course I was the “bad one”. started smoking weed and cigs and that lead my grandparents to believe I was turning out to be like her… but the difference is she did hard drugs and I could never. but anyways my point is I relate to this all too well and know you’re not alone and if i can keep pushing through then you can too love. stay strong and know your worth even if its nothing just keep your head up for you and only you!

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