So I know it’s been awhile since I’ve posted here. I have been working on getting better since I’ve been out of the hospital. Its definitely been a struggle. I’m just doing the best I can. I’ve upped my hours at work. I’m off of a dangerous medication. I’m no longer on depakote because it has fucked up my liver. I’m going through withdrawal from it and it sucks ass.
I’m a struggle to deal with. Plus I just want to quit my job so I can spend time with my doggos. Although I know that I need it in order to keep sane. I’ve been wanting to drink and self medicate a lot lately. Although I haven’t been. My self medication is usually self harm. My fiancee wouldn’t be happy if I turned back to self medicating.
I’m just worried that everything will fall apart again. I dont want it to fall apart again. I cant handle it falling apart. I’m not sure how to bring this up to fiancee though. I just want him to be happy . I dont want him to be worrying about me.