I can’t even remember when the last time I wrote here as a collaborator.
Since my last time on here, many, many things happened. I graduated from college, started graduate school and now started my internship as a social worker.
I always imagined how it would be like to be on the other side of the couch, being a provider, not the recipient.
I thought there is a magic curtain that therapists had, and they had a magic journal they kept their notes in.
But the truth is – there is none. As a provider (an intern provider to be specific), I still have my stressors, I still have my anxiety, and I still need help, just like my clients.
There is no magic curtain, and there is no magical way to take notes after each session nor remembering everything my clients share with me. It all comes with training and engaging with each client and their story.
The truth is, my life stressors will not go away, and I will not be able to “therapize” myself.
Being on the other side of the couch does not give me more power, but it rather gives me more compassion for these individuals. Compassion for their strength to keep living their lives, compassion for fighting for what is good for them.
I had a hard time wrapping my head around by the disappointment I faced in the latter half of 2019 as I started in August 2019. By realizing there is no magical healing wand that clinicians have, I felt lost.
Nevertheless, reading the posts by my fellow bloggers that are continuing their journey, encouraged me to get back up and keep fighting for the cause that brought me here. To advocate for equal mental health care for all and adequate resources for all the ones in need.
Until that day comes,