I have been helping my family out financially for years. I don’t mind, but sometimes I do it at my own expense. I put off my needs or wants to satisfy someone else’s. It is something (THE thing) I am working on with my therapist. She has me writing down 3-5 things everyday that bring me joy. Says that it is proven that within three weeks, your brain will rewire itself. I guess this helps with my anxiety which is a big reason why I continue to say yes to everyone…I just want to help and take away the chance for anyone to say that I don’t do enough. Well, it is day 5 and I am running out of things to write down lol. How sad is that? She said they can be as small as you liking your eye color. I don’t want to lie and just make stuff up. So I started finding more things I enjoy.
I bought Felipe.
Felipe is a fiddle fig. I have a black thumb. I have never kept a plant alive in my life, and if anything, I have ushered in their early demise. These plants are notoriously dramatic and hate change. They are the complete opposite of me. I enjoy it in every way possible. Felipe hates being moved, likes the west window one day and wants the South facing window the next. He throws a tantrum if he isn’t watered but then spits his leaves at me if he gets too much. I basically bought the hardest plant.
And then I bought four more plants. They give me JOY! I like watching them change. I have had Felipe for a week and he has two new leaves. I feel proud of him…and me. because he is alive. I kept him alive.