I have been helping my family out financially for years. I don’t mind, but sometimes I do it at my own expense. I put off my needs or wants to satisfy someone else’s. It is something (THE thing) I am working on with my therapist. She has me writing down 3-5 things everyday that bring me joy. Says that it is proven that within three weeks, your brain will rewire itself. I guess this helps with my anxiety which is a big reason why I continue to say yes to everyone…I just want to help and take away the chance for anyone to say that I don’t do enough. Well, it is day 5 and I am running out of things to write down lol. How sad is that? She said they can be as small as you liking your eye color. I don’t want to lie and just make stuff up. So I started finding more things I enjoy.

I bought Felipe.

Felipe is a fiddle fig. I have a black thumb. I have never kept a plant alive in my life, and if anything, I have ushered in their early demise. These plants are notoriously dramatic and hate change. They are the complete opposite of me. I enjoy it in every way possible. Felipe hates being moved, likes the west window one day and wants the South facing window the next. He throws a tantrum if he isn’t watered but then spits his leaves at me if he gets too much. I basically bought the hardest plant.

And then I bought four more plants. They give me JOY! I like watching them change. I have had Felipe for a week and he has two new leaves. I feel proud of him…and me. because he is alive. I kept him alive.

5 Replies to “Felipe.”

  1. Well done! I too often help others out at my own expense, it’s a trait I’ve never been able to shake in 37 years! For me the thought of someone being upset or thinking I could help but won’t consumes me. It’s easier then to just help whenever I can, even if that means I put a bill off or I don’t eat well. I really hope your therapy works 🙏


  2. What fun! I bought three flycatchers the other day. I think they are going to be difficult too.


  3. I am the same way! My cat palm’s fronds are all brown on the ends, but he’s alive! Even more impressive is my spindly-but-still-alive-after-1.5 years spider plant. Good luck with your plants! I’d like to bring your attention to one line you wrote: “I just want to…take away the chance for anyone to say that I don’t do enough.” I am sorry to hear that you worry someone might think you don’t do enough. I wonder, has someone said that to you? Or are you saying it to yourself? Either way I doubt that it is true! Just some “plant food” for thought 🙂


  4. I am so jealous. I have always wanted to have a plant but I can’t because I am always moving around.

    Liked by 1 person

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