Left on Read

As an adult I’ve found it difficult to make friends and keep friendships afloat. I try my best but it doesn’t seem to be enough sometimes.

During this quarantine period I’ve made two online friends through anime Facebook groups. Both of them have been great to talk to, I’ve really appreciated having them to talk to.

The one person, her and I spoke today so we are fine, but the other I’m not sure what happened.

Her and I would chat multiple times a week about anime and read each other’s fan fiction. (Please don’t judge me for writing fan fiction, I’ve already judged myself enough for it. It’s a new hobby.) We got along really well! I enjoyed hearing from her and the conversations we had. I felt like we were actual friends.

Late last week I wrote to her asking if she had any time to proofread my story. I didn’t hear a reply that whole day so I looked back to the message to find out if she saw it.

Read

Being left on read I thought maybe she is busy, she will reply later.

She didn’t.

A couple days later I sent her my story because she had previously said she was ok with reading my work. I saw her post something to our group but I heard nothing from her so I checked the chat.

Read

She has continued to post on her Facebook and the group we are a part of so it makes me wonder what the hell I did. Our conversations had been normal, we didn’t have any drama between each other.

I feel stupid for a plethora of reasons, from letting somebody who I don’t really know get to me and asking myself why anybody would want to be my friend in the first place.

This isn’t the first time this has happened in my life.

In high school, a good friend of mine who went to a different school did the same thing to me. I would call her, text her and even wrote her a letter with no response. I still don’t know why she distanced herself from me, I probably will never know.

Why is this a pattern in my life?
Is it me?
Is it them?

During all of this I was happily reminded of the longterm friends I’ve had since university. I went to a Zoom birthday party for my friend and got to see a few other friends which was so nice! It made me feel really good to be remembered and invited.

I’ve found a lot of value in the friends I’ve had for years. Even though we live in different places and haven’t seen each other in years, I know that they are still there for me.

Have you been left on read? Have you had friendships dropped for reasons you don’t understand?

19 Replies to “Left on Read”

  1. It is hard to know, you can’t really account for what is going on with another person. There could be a multitude of reasons, and they all have nothing to do with you. I hope you have a wonderful day, because you deserve it, and you are worth it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Very true, I have no idea what goes on in this person’s real life. Thank you very much for your kind words, Anxious Man!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Sadly, this has happened with me as well. I actually knew this person. I’ve had this happen with many people in my life. At one point you just question maybe it’s you. But really, honestly, there are a lot of people who are interacting with you for a specific reason a lot of the times (how you make them feel about themselves being the topmost for it). So when get bored or are over you, they leave. And you are left with nothing to show for it. Dude, really, try and create happiness within yourself. It shouldn’t depend on or be a reflection of anyone else but you. It might seem ignorant, but majority of the people just don’t care how their actions effect others. This was another example of that person. And yeah, it might happen again and again and again. That’s just how it is. So you do you. Try to be enough for yourself. Glad to see you have a good relationship with your college mates. Definitely keep up with that, but not as a chore. At this point, even you know that you all like each other and are still genuinely in touch that’s why. Lol I think my response is as long as your post. Don’t get bored pls and reply

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Don’t worry I read every word!

      CJ, thank you so much for your words!! You’re right people do have a specific thing they want out of an interaction. I wanted friendship and to talk with someone who had similar interests. I don’t have actual people in my life who like everything I enjoy. But I’m not sure if that’s what she wanted too, maybe I filled a temporary void in her life.

      I’m sad to hear that this has happened to you as well. It really is shit 😦 I’m right in the same boat with you, you really wonder if there’s something wrong with you to make people leave. It’s a real self esteem killer.

      You’re right about finding happiness within yourself. I love the way you phrased it, I honestly would have said it the same way, hahaha! I’ve been really trying to learn that. Even before COVID I was having a tough start to the year and found k-pop as my comfort.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Thanks for the reply! Hahaha. Am also glad that you find comfort in kpop. Totally know what that feels like. I wish you the best and you know it’s fine that you don’t have a plethora of people. Gets lonely sometimes, sure, but I do think it’s better in the long run cuz if you did push and push and held on to someone who doesn’t truly care about you, at the end of the day you will feel alone only. So, I actually think this is time to treasure. Grow. Have fun, relax. And like I said, be enuf for yourself. Things will happen organically. Thing is, you wouldn’t have to depend anything, even if they don’t. So, another rambling from my side, but I really do believe this. Take care ya!!

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve had the same issue. It something about graduating from high school; after graduating I’ve lost several friends and it’s been hard making them.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Sadly that’s how it happens after you graduate 😦 But those few that you still talk to, hopefully they’re the ones that will last a lifetime. I graduated high school 9 years ago and I only am still besties with 2 people. Thank you for commenting, Alex!

        Liked by 2 people

      2. I think after HS, we all follow our own paths and different lives.. and although the quantity of our friendships may decrease, the friends we do make and keep are keepers for life..

        Liked by 2 people

    2. It is really hard! It might be because once you’re done with school you’re never in a situation like that again where you’re with a bunch of people who are your age and share a similar experience. Thank you for commenting and I wish you luck on this journey to make/keep friends!

      Liked by 2 people

  3. I have accidentally LEFT people on read. It has never been a malicious thing, I just read a response and decide to answer later due to busyness or whatever, and then forget. I think being ADHD can play a role in it for me. So, I would think maybe that happens to others? If someone forgets to write back and you see they read your post, I don’t think it is bad to just send another quick note to remind them.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for your perspective, Maranda! That’s totally possible that she’s been busy or has a lot going on. Maybe in a week or so I’ll message her again. I’m too nervous to now!

      Liked by 2 people

  4. People always leave me without an explanation and sometimes I can understand where it went wrong but other times I don’t know what I did and that’s what sucks the most is because it leaves you wondering what you did wrong with a million questions all because someone doesn’t communicate to you why I feel like it would be so much easier if people could at least tell you why but some people just don’t I guess

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m sorry this keeps happening to you 😦 It is so hard when nothing is said and it’s all over like it never mattered at all. I tried to make a new friend earlier this year. We became FB friends and texted a bit but I think she figured out I’m weird and didn’t want to be friends, hahahaha. Tbh I don’t have time for normal people anyway! They’re no fun!

      Maybe we are all better off without those who ghosted us.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. I was the one ending friendships; only I was clear about it. There always was solid grounds. But for people who end it this way, I can’t tell.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. It really is hard to keep the friends you’ve met online close to you. I also used to have a friend whom I met from a certain writing community. We posted stories on that platform and we cheered on each other. That was almost 7 years ago. Reading your story, I somehow felt regretful that I wasn’t able to say goodbye properly before I deleted my account on that site. Anyway, I hope you still had a wonderful day after that. And I’m glad you still keep in touch with your uni friends… I personally think uni friendships are for keeps! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. No judgement on writing fanfiction. I just recently got back into it. Regardless, it sucks they just left you on read! It’s a fairly petty response for some people.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Watch this video it will change your life. Friends to the most part are a distraction yet we can worry and like anxiety rob us of not only day, week, or months. Years and decades of our life.

    Highly recommend anyone watch if have problems with friends or have anxiety that there not good enough.

    Like

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