I have been on overload lately. I get it, life happens and you either lean into it or let it control you. I tend to do something in the middle.
I have this love/hate relationship with stress. It is helpful to be a part of the hustle of life, and stress means that you are on the right path. At the same time, I let the stress take me over, and at times I let it go unchecked until I am a ball of stress without the proper way to deal.
I am always a work-in-progress, and I have been helped along my journey to continue to grow in this mental Illness world. I have things in this life that I am committed to, like getting my degree, my work as a freelance ghostwriter, and the big one–my writing. What drives me comes from my past. In my lost years and even past my last suicide, I had years to lose—no focus on the future or where I wanted my life to go at the end of the day.
My past has made an innate need to always be moving, still be focusing on the next “writing high,” or looking for ways to be productive. Being over productive is a real thing. There is no right or wrong with productivity, but when it comes to stress and overload, your productivity can be there, but not as effective. The worst part is that stress can effect self-care.
That is where I want the rest of this post to go. In my recent experiences with overloading my day, I have used it as an excuse not to work on my self-care. I use the method of binge-watching my favorite shows to relax. Again, there is nothing wrong with this after a long day, but in this mental illness life, when you start to let go of self-care, you end up a ball of stress with nowhere to go.
That is what I felt during these past two weeks. All work and no play, and we all know what that did for Jack. Stress is one of the signs that you need to slow down. One of the things I did recently is to step back and figure out what is essential and re-insert self-care in whatever form that works for me. You can do the same. If we let stress control us, we can end with health problems like I get with my stomach. We are only here for a finite amount of time, and we can’t always be a part of the rat race.
I wish I had all the answers, but recently, I learned from a close friend that we can’t have all the answers. We make decisions in our lives. I can choose to overload or slow down. It is something we should all take a moment and look at because life is too short.
With that said, enjoy your day and stay strong in the fight.
Always Keep Fighting
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