The Dark Passenger. The name I gave my depression a long time ago. It has popped up in stories, poems, and even in one of my novels. Why the dark passenger? Well, there is a story for just about everything in my life. I am a writer, after all.
First, I like the thematical element. My depression has always felt like it comes into my life, always at the wrong times. It is a part of me, but as I learned over time, it can go for periods of my life. The idea that depression is this thing in my mind means I can fight it and eventually leave me.
The dark passenger then became a motif in my work. It is said that your life as a human being often comes into your writing, and over the last year, there is some sobering truth to that idea. The dark passenger reminds me of the raven coming to the man in Edgar Allan Poe’s The Raven, and sometimes I imagine that my dark passenger is a white raven. One that can talk, putting evil thoughts into my mind and put me in the worst parts of my personality. It reflects in some of the darker themes in some of my work.
The thing is, this dark passenger is not all bad. It taught me that its okay to not be okay. That this thing called depression is something that we can fight. The dark passenger wants me to fight when depression becomes my only true friend.
The white raven is one of the rarest birds out there in the world. I am not comparing it as my depression is unique, but rather the dark passenger helps me identify when my depression is taking over my life. Like a bird, it eventually flies away. I have been on the other side of depression, and so I know it will not always be this way.
Depression is not a forever thing. I once was so depressed for over four years straight with no real end. Then it ended. It took hard work and surviving a suicide to finally meet my depression, my dark passenger, as part of me that lives inside and outside of James. We can separate, but we will always be in one another’s life. That is not so bad only at the moment when you are at your darkest. So know your dark passenger or whatever you call it is not forever. I like to say always keep fighting because it’s true.
Here is a video I wanted to end my post with, if your suffering from depression, know that you are not alone.
Always Keep Fighting
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