Detachment from Scenarios

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I wanted to open this blog post with a disclaimer, I am not an expert in life coaching or any realm of psychology and therapy. I will always come from someone who shares his experience with mental illness and what comes along with what I am learning through life coaching and reading. So, what is detachment? Well, let us turn to Eckhart Tolle for a great quote.

When you are detached, you gain a higher vantage point from which to view the events in your life instead of being trapped inside them. – Eckhart Tolle

Over the past almost two weeks now, I have experienced complete attachment from events causing massive negative and depressive issues in my life. When I decided to detach from the event, seeing my life as Eckhart said, my life was surreal from a different vantage point. I was trapped inside these events so bad that self-doubts, self-loathing, negative thoughts, and dare I say some thoughts of giving up on life.

I will be vague about the event in the sense that I will share an event that was troubling me a lot because of the negative feelings I was associating with this person. It was my feelings that were driving a wedge between myself and this person. What did detaching myself from the situation do for me? It gave me a chance to shift my perspective. See the event from a different vantage point. I went into the event with an open mind. I noticed what was triggering me and bothering me was my ego trying to take hold of the situation. I chose positive intentions over negative ones. I detached entirely from the event and went in with just the facts. I came out with a better understanding that there is a different way of approaching an event with negative connotations or anytime that I feel the ego awakening (again, please read Eckhart Tolle to fully understand.)

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Something my life coach told me–take consistent action. It makes so much sense now when I apply it to my life. Since my mom’s loss in December, I have felt like the punching bag of everyone that comes into my life, but in truth, I was playing the victim identity card. I allowed depression to be an excuse for my lack of energy or feeling like general crap. Depression is an emotion, but it can be a part of what is going on without controlling you. For the first time in forever, it seems my depression hit a ONE. I am not sure of the time or if this ever actually happened before.

What shifted? Everything. My approach. My attitude. Checking my ego at the door. Allowing detachment to give me a higher vantage point that I needed to look at the event. It is something that can and will be replicated in my life. I am tired of being the person that hides from the problems and events because I am here to tell you, they will continue to keep coming up in this life. So I leave you with hope. Change the narrative. Detach from the event. You will feel better for it. As always, stay strong in the fight.

Always Keep Fighting

James

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11 Replies to “Detachment from Scenarios”

  1. I’m not a fan of Tolle, but I am a fan of the mindful detachment he (and you) advocate. And it’s great to hear you finding new perspectives and feeling more positive. I can relate. We can’t always control depression, just like we can’t control a storm at sea. But we can choose what we do with our sails. All the best to you.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Dear James, I know of a therapist I respect who finds Eckhart Tolle’s ideas useful, and who likes his cards (these are like a large pack of cards, each with an inspiring and/or philosophical quotation on them). But I have never read any of his work myself. I like your description of mindful detachment. I think it might easily apply to my situation with anxiety. Where would you suggest I start if I want to read his work?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Anna,

      Thank you for reaching out. Having read two of his works, he has a few, I would recommend The Power of Now first and A New Earth second. It’s a great one-two punch to understanding how to live in the now. Eckhart and life coaching have helped me change the way I go about my day. Detachment is something that we already have in us and his work just helps us unlock what is already there inside. I hope you find the books useful.

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