Being Gentle with Myself

In this post I’m not going to get into any depth of what’s going on in America. This is how the events of this past week have effected my mental health. Please don’t leave any hateful comments. Keep this space safe and beautiful!

These past few days have been weighing very heavy on my heart. I was already feeling depressed but now it’s been a lot more difficult to handle.

I normally cook almost every day of the week even if it’s something frozen. I eat take out probably once a week; this past week I’ve eaten out 4 times. The energy it takes to make even the simplest of meals feels too daunting. My dishes are piled high, my dryer is full of clean towels and my dishwasher is full of clean dishes I haven’t put away in days.

And let me tell you, my wallet is hurting from all that take out!

I sometimes let messiness take over but usually I am able to sort it out rather quickly. This time not so much. Depression has taken ahold of me and plopped me down on my couch. There’s little I want to do besides lay around.

During work on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday I got very little done. I considered calling off but there were things I needed to get done. It took me all day to do them because I had no inspiration. The wheels of my mind were occupied by things greater than my work.

On weekends I like to split my time between rest and chores. I want to clean my house, I truly do, but I can’t find the energy.

I’m trying to be gentle with myself. I’m trying to take one hour at a time and not yell at myself for being lazy. That during these difficult days, it’s ok to not be productive. I’m trying to tell myself that and actually believe it.

What have I been doing to cope? Ordering take out, listening to Tomorrow x Together and playing Animal Crossing. I’m considering cracking open my Harry Potter books too. They’ve always been a comforting place for me.

How are you coping? Are you struggling more with your mental health than before? If so, what positive coping mechanisms are you using?

Please everybody be safe out there.

Photo by Marco Bianchetti on Unsplash

8 Replies to “Being Gentle with Myself”

  1. Thank you for such a raw and real post. I hear you. I see you. You are not alone. Tho I’m not American (I’m Canadian) the events of the last year have been extremely taxing on everyone. It’s okay to be ‘down’ or ‘depressed’ –sometimes we need to actually feel it to deal with it. Does that make sense? I love the idea of you cracking open Harry Potter…a familiar and safe place. For me, I write. I blog. I sleep (bit of an avoider for sure). I laze in a hot bubble bath. Anything that is relaxing and lets my mind decompress. Take care. Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for commenting, Faye!! That’s very true, sometimes we do have to feel to deal with whatever is going on. Sleeping can be a wonderful way to avoid life. Be well!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hello,thank you for sharing. I been struggling myself. What helps me is reaching out to my friend. She is so understanding and supportive. Always been by my side. Writing down my emotions is helping me as well.
    Please take care if yourself💛You are important 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for sharing and commenting, Rose Alissa!! I’m glad to hear you have a supportive friend by your side, they are worth more than all the money in the world. I am trying my best to take care of myself, I wish the same for you!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s okay to be non-productive when stressed. Don’t be hard on yourself. Health comes before work, and that feeling of guilt needs to be thrown out the window! lol. I cope by doing something creative (drawing/painting/writing), praying, or talking to a friend to help me de-stress. Sending you well wishes. 🙂

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  4. Bravo, my friend James!! I have been really watching how much I consume and being extra mindful of how my own energy and emotions are being affected. I posted about it yesterday, watching our breath and hydration are too big ones. The events unfolding are happening whether we engage with them or not, what we each have control over is our own wellbeing. Rest, being extra kind to ourselves, stepping out in nature more etc. Being attuned to how my insides are affected by the outside world. Good for you for realizing that the heaviness was starting to weigh on you. Sending you lots of love, take good care of you because our world needs you ❤

    Liked by 2 people

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