Sleep. My oldest enemy. My sleep issues have been around longer than my anxiety or even depression. It has always been an issue. Sleep eludes me almost every day. It … Continue reading My Insomniatic Life
It had been a while. To be honest, I don’t miss panic attacks. I hate them because I lose myself in the panic attack, and control is what I crave … Continue reading My Last Panic Attack
Some time ago I took myself to the cinema to watch Lars von Trier’s film Melancholia. Three quarters of the way through the film I got an attack of claustrophobia … Continue reading Days when life scrolls across the vision…
Gratitude. It’s a very powerful thing – in fact, it can be the momentum you need to keep you moving through the days you feel too tired to continue; tired … Continue reading Gratitude can’t always scare off your depression – and that’s ok
My depression brings out the worst parts of my personality. If you’re like me, when depression takes over, it feels so simple to just give up. I have felt that … Continue reading Sometimes I Give Up too Easy
Since I was a young child there was a thorn in my side–a thorn in my flesh that penetrated deep into my heart and soul. I couldn’t pinpoint what the … Continue reading Stigma: The Thorn in My Side
What I am planning on doing is upgrading this blog to the business class. I can do a lot more with sharing the stories of others through this platform. What I want to do is take this blog to the next level. I want to be able to allow others to sell their work on my blog. (It will also help me sell my own work so there is that part of why I would like to upgrade.)
This is something that I’ve been struggling since I’ve hit my “bottom” after my depressive episode last summer. I don’t think I really understood what it meant to be hopeless … Continue reading Hope
was so ecstatic about how I have been able to be so productive this winter. My seasonal component has not been an issue (SAD), but the past few days I could feel the weather changing my mood. It has been rainy here the last couple days, and while I often feel good when it rains it not the case at this moment.
I don’t often talk about the time just before I made the decision to write this blog. I was good with my mental health, but at the same time, I … Continue reading Why This Blog Means the World to me
life is too short to be boring.
The first day on that stimulant was the night I became furious with myself in a conservatory practice room, blacked out (also known as having a dissociative fugue) and walked several miles out of town. When I came to, I called campus Safety and Security officers to drive out and pick me up. I got back to the dorm, popped two hydrocodone (my first attempt at self-medication), and stood outside of my room looking at the doorknob, feeling like there was a pane of glass between my outstretched hand and the door that I couldn’t possibly penetrate.