Many Asian cultures are highly religious, and they tend to believe that things like mental illness can be taken away by a simple prayer. Please do not take my words as a slight. I believe in God, but in my experience, prayers are good, but they do not help with the actual issues that come with dealing daily with a mental illness. There is a more deep-seated stigma of shame associated with Asian culture.
It was endless depression with very little peace. It was the darkest time in my life. My thoughts were often on the fringes of suicidal idealizations. I thought about all the ways I could die through suicide. I was a man without a purpose, or a will to live.
It also made it harder the way 2019 ended for me, and how I was working through dealing with the death of my mother. I am going through the stages of grief in my own way, but that is for another post. There were plans set in motion in November of last year to begin the stages of a new non-fiction book. I am a writer. It does not matter about writing fiction, non-fiction, screenplays, or poetry, I go where my mind takes me to the next projects. It could be a novel or the short stories that I am writing in my current graduate courses. It is all relevant, as long as I am writing, life moves forward.
How is it best to be, think, or feel, when we are threatened by darkness, whether from external factors or whether in our own minds? I think this is a … Continue reading Looking for gold veins in black granite
Mental illness sucks. That’s the summation of my thoughts, usually after a depressive spiral. It’s what I think when a good friend loses a job because of a schizophrenic episode. … Continue reading Need Help? Go On and Ask for It
Recently, I have been waking up every morning and thinking, “Another day. Ho hum. Just another day,” while feelings of melancholy fill my heart and ache my soul. Although writing … Continue reading Living With Mental Illness is Like Swimming With A Great White Shark Lurking Nearby
Eventually, I got out of bed and was somewhat productive. I got up. I took a shower and tried to eat. I will admit it was all junk food, but it helped get me moving. I met with my client, did my three hours of interview time, and it helped me to at least find a silver lining when depression was all I had going that day.
It is funny how depression is so normal to me that I don’t really give much thought to it. I mean, I know when things are bad, I may feel … Continue reading What is What.
Mental illness is a bitch that leaves an unwelcome itch I cant scratch away. Believe me. I’ve tried all day. Can’t remove this crud that entered like mud after Hurricane … Continue reading An Unwelcome Itch – a poem
So I know it’s been awhile since I’ve posted here. I have been working on getting better since I’ve been out of the hospital. Its definitely been a struggle. I’m … Continue reading How I’ve been…..
It has been a while friends, and I am sorry. I was mad at the world. No one in particular, or at some level, I was angry at God. My … Continue reading The Bipolar Writer Has Been Gone, and I am Sorry
My name is Bailey and I am defensive. I am defensive in a way that gets me in a lot of trouble. Something that took me a long time to … Continue reading Never Wrong.