In this post I’m not going to get into any depth of what’s going on in America. This is how the events of this past week have effected my mental … Continue reading Being Gentle with Myself
And such indescribable and sublime loneliness. I wanted to protect you from fate. The fate that carries you away further and further… Let us rebuild a healthy state of mind. … Continue reading Fate
I will be vague about the event in the sense that I will share an event that was troubling me a lot because of the negative feelings I was associating with this person. It was my feelings that were driving a wedge between myself and this person. What did detaching myself from the situation do for me? It gave me a chance to shift my perspective.
I have never been hospitalized before. I think that I am pretty good at hiding things, but I couldn’t hide this from myself. I knew there was something wrong. I … Continue reading My First Time.
Something I learned this week was a great metaphor. It involved rocks, and it was an idea that Kim came up with, and it was my action for my week ahead. The basis is the idea that rock represents all the doubts and the past lying on the ground. The point for me to address the rocks in the backpack. I can go two ways. I can pick up the rock and look at it and move on. Or I can continue to add the weight until it overwhelms me as it did just a month ago.
I am relearning everything. How to live with loss and not hide from it as I have been for close to eight months. In fact, this post happens to land on what would have been my mom’s birthday. I realize that my life has been all about planning, but the actual doing is not something that I am fully committed to, especially when it comes to staying in the present. I recently got fantastic equipment to do video blogs and connect with clients, but it is still a struggle.
Stressing yourself out will only end badly. There was some positive to yesterday’s excursion into the social media world. I saw some fantastic food that people are cooking. For me, I will be focused on school and writing for the rest of the week, staying away from the temptation to continue to stress myself out. Stay safe out there in this crazy world of isolation.
I am not an outwardly emotional person. Behind closed doors, I spill it all. If you asked my mom or friends, they would never describe me as boy crazy. I … Continue reading Exploding With Emotion.
Eventually, I got out of bed and was somewhat productive. I got up. I took a shower and tried to eat. I will admit it was all junk food, but it helped get me moving. I met with my client, did my three hours of interview time, and it helped me to at least find a silver lining when depression was all I had going that day.
With the news of James’ mom’s recent passing, I find myself reflecting on my own parent/child relationship. How lucky am I to have her, and how much I feel for … Continue reading My mother.
Has anyone ever seen the film I Robot starring Will Smith? It’s based on a story by Isaac Asimov. Smith plays his typical action man role with misbehaving robots added. … Continue reading Do you ever have a normal day?
My psychiatrist put in her two weeks notice. It is a difficult pill to swallow, knowing that I have to find yet another doctor. I don’t feel this way with … Continue reading Two Weeks Notice.