I Hate Myself and Don’t Deserve Good Things

Anxiety. Depression. PTSD. Codependency. On any given day, I’m dealing with one or more of these issues. It has taken several years for me to understand what I’m going through. … Continue reading I Hate Myself and Don’t Deserve Good Things

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Reclaiming My Love For Literature

I am guessing that most of you might have realized that I have been absent for quite some time. Despite me being an advocate for mental health, I too suffer … Continue reading Reclaiming My Love For Literature

The Japanese Word for Panic Attacks

There are many foreign words that do not have an English translation. One example is the Japanese word mushaburui. It translates to shaking or trembling with excitement. Musha is the Japanese word … Continue reading The Japanese Word for Panic Attacks

I Sleep Four Hours or 14 Hours

Sleep feels like an irrational beast. It’s rare that I get a full night’s sleep. If I do, I sleep more than needed and still feel tired. The number of … Continue reading I Sleep Four Hours or 14 Hours

No More Notifications

I’ve taken steps to cut stress from my life. My living situation was stressful, so I moved out into a one bedroom apartment. I worked a stressful job so I … Continue reading No More Notifications

I Don’t Want to Die But I Hate Living

Sometimes I’ve thought about how others would react if I passed away. Everyone’s had that thought I’m sure. Wondering who would cry or who would attend the funeral. It’s hard … Continue reading I Don’t Want to Die But I Hate Living

Family Estrangement After Childhood Trauma

My friends from large families never understood why I don’t enjoy family gatherings. I don’t like crowds, even if I know everyone. I don’t see my family often enough to … Continue reading Family Estrangement After Childhood Trauma

Talking to People is Getting Easier

I often struggle with talking to other people. I hate small talk. I don’t like talking to strangers. Once I get to know someone, I’m willing to talk to them, … Continue reading Talking to People is Getting Easier

That Time I Almost Went to Disneyland

Growing up, my family never went on any vacations. One year when I was eight, we traveled to Tennessee for a family reunion. I didn’t know anyone on that side … Continue reading That Time I Almost Went to Disneyland

The Long Expensive Road to Recovery

I recently had my first appointment with a psychiatrist. I had counseling when I was six and again when I was eight but nothing since. There was a lot of … Continue reading The Long Expensive Road to Recovery

The One Thing That Keeps Me Going

More and more people tell me to do what makes me happy. Writing makes me happy. Whether I’m writing a poem, a short story, a novel, or blog journal post; … Continue reading The One Thing That Keeps Me Going

My Mind Still Thinks I’m in Danger

When you grow up with an anxiety disorder, you don’t realize what kind of skills you’re developing. At an early age, I learned how to distinguish if someone was a … Continue reading My Mind Still Thinks I’m in Danger