A circle of blurred faces surrounded me, all talking at once. The level of chaos outpaced my own mind and I struggled to keep track of what was going on. … Continue reading My Journey to Stability, Pt. 3
Vlogcast seven, for the longest time and I feel it’s evident in my vlogcasts previous to this: vlog cast 1 through Vlogcast 6, I have a very heavy tone, I … Continue reading My Emotional inbox is full and cannot take anymore messages. Try again later. Goodbye.
This is Vlogcast six. One of the major things I wanted to share revolves around what most artists, performers, people that are book authors, they share their personal experience and … Continue reading REcounting herstory feels a lot like staring at the sunlight filtering through the treetops..nonsensical but making all the sense in the world.
March was supposed to be great, but as we all know, life changed. We had social distance ourselves more and more. Now it is getting even more restrictive to leave your house as things are not going so well out there in the world. My anxiety, already on its edge, has shot up over the last week.
My official diagnosis when it comes to anxiety is social anxiety and panic disorder. Right now, I am dealing with anxiety in several ways. I take a benzo, clonazepam, and I do other things that help me cope with my anxiety like breathing techniques, meditation, and writing. My ultimate de-stressor. I have not had a large number of panic attacks per week when things are good, but lately, I have dealt with them more.
I feel it settling into my stomach. It’s a very familiar churning. I’ve not had breakfast yet, so it could be that. But I also feel the little beginning of … Continue reading Uh Oh, Fear
This August was a happening month for me. I got everything that I had my hands on, was at the peak of happiness and wellness. Probably I have never been … Continue reading The stars aren’t aligned…
Please don’t tell me that a smile and your sorrow just don’t go together. I would not look upon my anger as something foreign to me that I have to … Continue reading What Anger Is To Me
My last post and this one are going to be a little contradictory because circumstances have changed. I previously said that I am mentally ready to take a break from … Continue reading Change Gives Me Anxiety
Sometimes I’ve thought about how others would react if I passed away. Everyone’s had that thought I’m sure. Wondering who would cry or who would attend the funeral. It’s hard … Continue reading I Don’t Want to Die But I Hate Living
Petrified doesn’t seem to express fully what I am feeling. This is my first post. When I saw the post about new collaborator’s part of my brain said “Why not?” … Continue reading The Fear
I’m starting to see some negative characteristics in myself. Recently feelings of jealousy have been becoming more and more prominent in my mind. My jealously is fueled by fear. The … Continue reading Reflecting Before It Gets Ugly