March was supposed to be great, but as we all know, life changed. We had social distance ourselves more and more. Now it is getting even more restrictive to leave your house as things are not going so well out there in the world. My anxiety, already on its edge, has shot up over the last week.
My official diagnosis when it comes to anxiety is social anxiety and panic disorder. Right now, I am dealing with anxiety in several ways. I take a benzo, clonazepam, and I do other things that help me cope with my anxiety like breathing techniques, meditation, and writing. My ultimate de-stressor. I have not had a large number of panic attacks per week when things are good, but lately, I have dealt with them more.
What is something in your life that you feel passionate about outside of things like writing (my greatest passion), or if it is writing, what are some of the metaphors you take from writing? Leave your comments below. I would love to hear about it!
In September, I got my CPAP machine. I was hopeful that I could finally start conquering this sleep issue and at the same time, improve my mental health. What amazed me about the machine was that it starts out at a low level of air pressure. As you begin to sleep, it increases to the number that they found during the second sleep study as the best pressure for me to sleep. It starts out at a four, and increases all the way to 15, which is very high but necessary.
I want to preface this blog post with this, the choice to use vaping as a tool for my anxiety was a personal choice and one that I made for … Continue reading Vaping & Anxiety – My Experience
This is not the first time that I have done these tests and got a sleep apnea machine. I had issues with the mask, and eventually, my insurance decided that they would not pay for something that I was not using. Since the masks have improved and I am hopeful that tonight’s sleep study that things will work out better and I will finally be able to conquer this insomnia thing.
One of the bad parts for me with mania, and one that gets be in trouble when the manic episode is over–The feeling that your on top of the world.
I am coming up a large number of questions and that each interviewee will take up a chapter. There is no telling where this will go. I have reached out to at three potentials with one getting back to me.
So, I don’t dine out. The last time was a year ago when I moved to my new place (which by the way, I have been here for exactly a … Continue reading My First Time Dining Out in a Year
That is not to say I don’t have social anxiety, it is just that my therapist is considering the last year with my increase in panic attacks to focus on this diagnosis. The main part of my “social anxiety” as I have called it over the last three or four years is the “fear” of having a panic attack in a public place. It is the most terrifying thing, and it is the cause of the anxiety the moment I leave my house. That preoccupation with the “panic attack” on my part has lead to a change in my diagnosis–panic disorder.
As the year comes to an end, I would like to recap what 2018 has been for me. This year was filled with so many ups and downs. Tears have … Continue reading A Swim Upstream And Lessons Learnt
There is always hope and fighting for better mental health. Yesterday is not today, and I can only go up from here.